Okay, i need to come up with a plan. I need to make sure that i can have enough time this week and enough money to sustain me for what i wanna buy.

So, i have decided to do all the thinking of what is supposed to be done, what i want to be done and what i really really need to be done and when. Also, i need to come up with a savings plan so that i can comfortably go out whenever i want and know that i can buy something if i really really want it and not just wait for the money to come by like a mirage. I have decided to save and i am not going to be guilty of it too. Whenever i go out, esp my brother, he makes it sound as though i'm scrooge. Not that i mind spending on him but sometimes, i really am saving up and more often than not, i feel guilty for not wanting to split with the money. I say, fuck that. It's my time, my money and my life.

Lately also, i have been pretty much depressed. About my weight. See, when someone's putting on weight, there are different ways of approaching different people, there are those who gets driven by criticsm, some by support, yadaa yadaa. See, these past two weeks, i have been getting so much criticsm about my fucking weight that i just stop being me. I start being insecure, i start thinking that i am not as fly as i think. But i also realise one thing, i tend to feel so 'heck care', i just start eating again, but discreetly, without anyone knowing and then i beat myself because of it. Even if it is just a slice of bread. Everyday i wake up, i think i am not worth it just because of my weight. Yes, i know, people just say it to motivate you, so that u dun stop till you reach the objective. I realise, it ain't working for me. So, i thought to myself, fuck it. And i started eating normal again. It has helped though that once you start eating healthier, your body do not take in rubbish as well as it did anymore. There's a limit where u know u just can't take it. Once i started to eat normal, i feel myself being much more energised (read: less lazy to work out), my dark circles became less obvious and i get an addictive drive to move, get moving. Dancing.
Ahhh.. the pleasures of dancing. And then i start to see a difference, a difference i wanted to see when i was dieting. Plus, support helps, if u want me to lose more weight, encourage me, dun bring me down. I am not like that. Even with my academics. Unless u wanna see me plummet into self-pity and curled up with a gigantic tub of Ben& Jerry's on my laps and chocolate stains on my lips, bawling my eyes out, please refrain from saying, 'Fucking fat sia u'. Even when u see an improvement. This is directed to people close to me. My family, you-know-who.

I say fuck it because i am gonna do this my way and all the fat insults can come kiss me on my bootylicious spanklicios,curvaceous ass. Because i am fucking sizzling and no one can argue with me otherwise unless u are like a Victoria's secret model or an Armani male model or something.
;-)

On another note, i need to catch my time too. Right now, there are many things i wanna do but i dun know when.
1) I totally need to pack up my stuff.
2)A day out like, real shopping with the girls.
3)Come up with an exercise time table, starting Monday.
4) Get ready my school stuff.

Easier typed than done.

Right now, i have vowed to myself not to waste money on cab anymore. And ciggarettes. *sigh. I think i wasted like almost 50 bucks because of two days taking cab to work. Yishun to Harbour Front plus peak hour plus ERP plus traffic jam. NO MORE!

Ok, if you guys haven't heard, Harbour Front has a new shopping centre. VIVO city. It rocks my fucking boat. I need the girls to go there. It's some serious shit. The forever21 and the FashionCity ought to be my favourites. I wannnnnnna goooooo!!

Anyway, time to get my ass moving now. And not stop till i am all done.
Ciao bella.