SCREAM!

The blogger

archives

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
October 2008
November 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009

Talk,bitches

Blair Catalog

credits

Adobe Photoshop
Photobucket for hosting
basecodes mothersound
fonts x x

Saturday, November 27, 2004

omg

hey, do you know what i just realised?Our o'levels is just like you know last tuesday. omg, not even one week has passed and i thoght it has been like how long siah. Well today i went to jalan raya with rajiv and his fwens. Can you imagine the previous night i was slacking at sha-tot's crib until 8 in the morning and then when i went home i slept for around 1 hour plus and i has to endure the next god knows how many hours more on a tall pair of stilletoes. Hmm..the pain of a woman. You know what i really trust that i can quit smoking now. hopefully unless there is an occasion. me and li was talking about how our holidays have not kick start yet and we just decided it is going to be kicked off on wednesday.well..tell you guys more.

Friday, November 26, 2004

boredomnified or sumting like that.

oh my gosh i am bored to the core. i have nothing to do man.I think if not for this whole hari raya thing i could be earning money by now.

But i think by next week my quest of getting a job would begin. the options are either at holiday inn banquet, airport or a country club. hm...i want to smell the money.

Let me tell you a secret man, me, my mum and my sis are planning to elope from here.

it sux here. people treat you like maids here. No one cares about you, there is no such things as love or understanding. i don't know about them but if they dun, then i would run away from home man. i swear to god but i know if i were to run away from here, my mum would be so bloody worried. So i begged her to rent out a place, i dun care how big, what matters is that finally i can have a house i can call home. Finally my heart dun dread going home. People can make fun and say that i dun have a house is it, because i keep going to other people's house but if they know what goes on here, i think they would feel what i feel. There is a bad point also, if that happens then i cannot stop werking all the way. i have to be the sole breadwinner of the family and my 16 year old mind cannot seem to handle this responsibility. Sometimes i see some families and i begin to feel hatred for them. why are they so lucky, they have no worries, no reason for escape, one day i would have my own family and i would be the kind of mum every kid dreams of. haiz.

Rajiv called me down yesterday to talk to me on whether i should go to jc or poly. He is seriously leaning towards the idea of me going to jc. He says it is like a waste if i were to go to poly because if i were to go jc then i just need to bust my ass for 2 years and you can go further. But it is difficult to be the cream of the crop for poly. so perhaps i would open the option of going jc again.

i dunnoe, suddenly there is so many things you have to do. I am really scared i cannot shoulder the responsibility of you know, paying for the bills and stuff. I am terrified. But i believe god will help me.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

the holidays, huh?

Yesterday i had the most awful fight with Baby..you know about what? he caught me smoking red handedly behind his back. Actually he would not have minded it that badly if i hadn't have done it behind his back. We fought so terribly that i thought we were going to break up there and then siak. thank god he was not that merciless. He was talking about how his trust for me was shattered to a gazillion pieces and i was so hurt by the hurt i caused him. omg. it was climatic man. but it is all okay now.Afterthe whole hurricane ended, we became more deeply entwined with each other. but i am amazed at the rarity of the physicality of this realtionship man. it is emotionally exciting man. We became like the kind of irritating couple who thinks of each other when we go to sleep and once we wake up. haiz..love is blissfully unnerving.

Yesterday we went jalan raya and rajiv followed to get his hands on some bling$. But the unfairness of life is so argh!! he got 40 bucks while i got 32? i know...that conniving lil babi ordered me to pay the taxi fare! hmph! he owes me big time, ok, it is just $8..whew! thank god i am so forgiving.bwuhahaha.

Do you know that all my faraking money is gone? haiz, i should just have shut up, closed my eyes and bought that levis jeans i loved so much now it's...gasp*dramatic backgroung music*...GONE!Well i have to get my priorities right.

First and foremost i must highlight my hair. I mean it is like my fucking holidays man, you know what happened? i rebonded my hair..it was more like a nick of the moment kind of thing and boy did i regret my stupid naive move!The stoopid auntie was more darned interested in going home and stuffing her bloated face with some pork knuckles.

And the best thing is it is not even straight. Haiz..the first few days of rebonding, your hair is supposed to be plastered to your head. but no..it looks like normal. haiz. what the fuck man.

now i am hanging around at home with nothing to do. seriously after all this raya brouhaha is over, i will start werking man. i assume i wud be damn bored. so why not entertain maself and make money at the same time. well..wish me bestest luck. muax.

our day out!!!

Cute!!takleh angz! All of us at fi's crib!

Monday, November 22, 2004

my last say

it has finally came to this..it is officially my last paper that i have to sit for in 51 minutes later..and here i am doing my blog. this shows how much excitement i have to write in this blog...bullcrap..it just shows that i am lazy and like making excuse.

perhaps i am also a stupid, nonsensical girl with no sense of priority. okay? happy?

haiz..whatever...i cannot wait. Sha and li and maybe fi are actually going to dye their hair on this very day whili i am still bloody contemplating on whether i should rebond my hair first whatever..hey i got an exam to take aite? get back to ya later!

Friday, November 19, 2004

why this unfairness?

One thing that has been brought to my attention lately is this harsh reality that diversion of different races and religionhave brought much suffering to the world and my life. No one should discriminate or disrespect the other. Racism would inevitably exist no matter what you say because we look different, we talk different but to fight because of it is like fighting bout why chameleons all have different coulours because all of us actually look the same but we change our colours due to our surroundings.

Can't you see if we all look alike no wars and such would happen. Damn, if you take our largest organ out, our skin, under each and every individual is the same skeletal structure. Damn! religion is your faith, it is between god and yourself. How can you let someone else decide what or which faith you should keep? Integrity is what you should acquire and keep no matter what your age because your integrity would teach you how to get through life. So yes i am an islam and nobody can tell me otherwise because whatever sins do, it's between me and him.So there!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

something i just wanted to write!

i was going through my old diary and suddenly i was washed over with nostalgia..haha

being with Samsul has really taught me a lot of things like my new found independence and the stubborness of conforming to another guy's likes and dislikes. To me, my life is now my life and no one, i mean, NO ONE, can make my decisions for me or decide my future. And this is how i have grown.

Now that i have grown a lil' it has made me realise who i really am and how you cannot change it. I am straightforward and sarcastic. I hate it when people think i am dumb or take my patience for granted and how people judge as if they know me better than i know myself.

it seems just like yesterday that i actually went through what i read yet it was like 2 years ago..one day i will read my blog and be like hey..it has been another 2 years and i would be 18...bwuahaha..

in the blink of an eye, my secondary school life is over. 4 complete years of smiles, tears, tantrums and being in deep shit. Man, god knows!

My mum's having financial problem and my ultimate dream in life is to be somebody and ship her out of this hell hole. that's my goal to be another arwah nana. I have come to accept how my real family treats me and i dun care. it is funny how life changes when you look at things using your brain instead of your heart huh?

Another thing that i have come to learn is how you should respect people all as equals,as human beings instead of labelling them as your mother, brother and etc.

This have shoen how it helps in your life, especially in my relationship with rajiv.

ok, firstly this guy has his own views and perspectives on things. Because of this we share views and since i look at him with an open-minded mind, i allow him to go wherever he wants. i am not going to bug myself and torture myself with the thoughts of whether he will cheat on me or not because you never know. but his love for me is intense and can really be felt deep inside.

Monday, November 15, 2004

well...

something is freaking wrong with my computer man!! i just cannnot write my blog...well..we are just going to be patient k? haiz...a lot have been happening in my like right now..i will try and sum it up for you k?

we...deepavali just passed but we had a celebration for my brother's birthday party for the first time after 8 years so it was really a big deal for me man...well...let me tell you the whole story k?

first we went there and we set up the whole ting...then derrick and satish came and then we just sat there and talked kok...i think they are another group of friends worth keeping regardless whether they were actually my brother's friends..then bai mail(my other brother) came with startling blonde hair..haiz...the my sister came..and we sat, we drank like pot-bellied drunkard adn finally the crowd dies of..it was very memorable for me man.

the next day we found out that my sister's best friend's husband hanged himself...i was so shocked i sat on the bus in a daze..life is something precious and to have the fact that it might suddenly be over startles me.

My sister said that she is doing fine so it is okay..

let's talk about something less depressing..hari raya is here and today is like the second day..haiz and i already have $150 bucks..i am like so going to get rich man...haha...k lar i talk to you soon..