Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.

Why? Why must i move out so soon. Why? When i am dying for some out time with the girls, (i swear to god, i am almost dying here out of missing them too much), my mum strutted in the room, points a finger at me and my brother and say,'None of you are going out this weekend, we got to move out of here, most probably by next week'. And we, being the filial children that we are,(we are!) have to muffle our objections by stuffing the nearest ball of socks we can find in our mouth and dutifully cancel all of our plans, no questions asked.
I have made a pact to myself. To live today for today. I have gone through all the daily mundane things in life, hanging on to yesterday, questioning the future and completely ignoring the present. Due to that attitude, i always feel not contented and hang on to rules created by myself from the lessons of the past. And what does it do to me? I dun feel grateful for anything. My mum said, when someone hands you a rope, dun choke urself, use the rope wisely. Life hands me a rope. And i am going to have a hell of a good time.

Now, let's get to the 'days of our lives' events. I got to work real late today,much to the annoyance of Regan. This was suprising because i swear my body could wake up at 7 even without the help of an alarm clock. I think it was because my brother woke me up for 'sahur' which was stupid because i knew i was not going to puasa and he is not going to puasa. Then macam paham, both of us said the prayer and slept, woke up and smoked a stick each. Wasting my time siah.

Getting my pay today but it is useless because after paying for my Ipod and rebonding my hair, i would have a lil left and just now, my mum just called me to borrow me some money. What to do, must say yes,mah.
K, enough of that. It's making my stomach turn.

I miss it when you let go of everything around you and just indulge yourself in me. We can stay in bed doing nothing but talk. Yes, we used to talk. A lot, actually. Now i understand why girls in relationships are so irritating. Suddenly, i dun think for myself anymore. My opinions have to wait for confirmation from him. That is so not supposed to be the case. And baby, please note that this is a self-analysis of myself and is not caused by you. I do miss how we can talk for hours without u being distracted though. But then again, who can tahan me talking for so long, right? Yep.

Oh well, off to sort out the boxes now.
I apologize that i dun seem to have any activities to cover now so most of my posts are self reflections. I am an emotional person, you see.so this is my ranting ground. It might or not make sense the next day but this is an accurate description of how i am feeling right NOW. So, i apologize if there are contradictions in between the entries or within an entry itself.

Signing off,
That girl.