K, i have finally gone from bad to worse.

Suddenly, what i had fought for and what had been given to me on a silver platter, i am taking for granted.
Being the organized freak that i am,academically, that is, i am almost going insane now.

I overslept again. I did come to school but i missed a Business Stats lecture. What's worse is that ICA's either this Fri or next Mon. And you know what's the best part? I do not even have the book with me. Not that i didn't try to buy it but it was all sold out and the only thing that i can do now is photocopy the book. Almost the entire book. And that process is so tedious that i procrastinated it for so long and now, i have a test and i do not even have the book.

That is it.

I am now in the freaking library and all i have to do is borrow it from the library and photocopy it. Then, since i know i cannot study at home, i am going to get my ass to the library after all my classes today and bury my head into the books. Yes, i am a geek.
A geek with a nosestud.

You dun get that much here. But i am not going to follow the majority now. Cause if i fail this one, imma have to admit defeat and finally say to the reflection in the mirror,
"I'll never be okay. I'll never be disciplined enough to take care of myself" and i cannot let that happen. No freaking way.

Maybe i am over-reacting but i cannot help it when my dad says that if fail this one, he ain't even gonna hope anymore. Stupid parents. They dun know the emotional battle one have to face when on the bridge to disciplining oneself. Especially me.

I even stopped exercising which i think explains my lack of energy and the drive to do something the best i can. That, and late nights. It's gonna have to stop, i tell ya.
It's gonna have to!

I am gonna refrain from switching my computer on until i finish all my studying because i know that one i switch it on, i am never gonna start and then when i look at the time, Lo and Behold,
It's 1 am! And then, i get a measly 6 hours of sleep. Certainly not enough for a piggy like me. And so, what do i do? Oh, yeah... Oversleep right? Because i will suddenly demand the rights of sleeping a solid 8 hours. And then what happens? I skip my classes. And my attendance go down the drain. And i get de-barred..and then i end up working late nights in F&B all over again earning a thousand bucks and a whole lot of dark circles. Oh, and a beer belly.
All because i switched on the computer.

All i am looking forward to is the holiday. *i wanna club. It's been so long....Daphne's bdae today @DblO! *sigh...

I am freaking out. The only solace i have is him. Thank god.