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Monday, February 13, 2006

Guess what? I got a date! Weehee.. he's not old, he's not a father. In fact we know him, he was in Loyang but when we were Sec 1, he graduated. Hahaha..

I think me and him both agreed that this is kinda weird, the fact that we just met and we are spending like the most romantic day of the year with each other but you know what? Fuck the rigidity of the mind. I dun now where we are going but i do know it is less that 2 hours away. Fuck. I feel the bloddy butterflies again. I am nervous. I mean, what shud i wear?!?

Oh ya,

Happy Valentine's Day!

I love this day even if i had no date. We, the girls, used to spend V'dae together but since now, all of us seems to be very much coupled in a way or so, dating, in a relationship, yadaa yadaa, i think we can loosen the reins a lil.

I dun understand how people can hate V'dae. Sure, it makes no sense. A guy named Valentine dies and love is celebrated? And where did the little Cupid story come from? All that i dun know, but all i know is that this is the moment where you find urself succumbing to the displas of love everywhere. Sure, to the ones that fell out of this love monster thingy, the most important thing is knowing that love is not supposed to make you feel opressed or feel like you HAVE to love the person just because the person loves you. Love is spontaineity, love does not hate, love is not tiring,quite the opposite, in fact. Sure, there are hurdles but there is never a point where you should lose the love for urself, then he has not much to love does he?

Love frees the mind, the spirit. Opression only comes with the existence of caring about the ego, the pride. Something that doesn't allow you to say whatever you want to say.

But well, i know that opression well, noting that my pride is important even towards the person i am supposed to be the most vulnerable to.But well, i dun trust people easily which is why i can never find it within myself the capacity to love.

Anyway, this V'dae, i dedicate to people i am not afraid to love.

People who i find make my pride and ego dun matter much anymore.

Love that clenches my heart.

My brother-

The brother who has been there for me through my family's favouritism. There for me and said 'Fuck the family". We'll survive this together.There for me to tell me what to wear for my dates even when he bristles at the name of the guy the way protective brothers does. I can go on... but let's continue lah eh.

My god-ma-

No explaination required. She stays awake the whole night for me when i was sick. Enuff said.

The tots-

No matter what had happened. Inevitably, i love you guys so much and all in diff ways.

Hani keep me sane with her insanity

Bib keeps me light and affectionate with her listening ears and her antic kental ways.

Sha-my partner in crime. Makes the struggle of life much more bearable.

Fi-u keep my sense of humour intact and never let me remain jaded.

Nys-u r lame. And u are not afraid to admit it. I love that.

Li-i am in love with ur memories.

Oh.. and li.

Shyanne-

You are a strong girl. I love you for that.

I think that about covers it.I think. Whatever. i got a date. Bye.