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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Continuation of the 'Mistaken Identity Saga'

After replying this to him,
"Oh my gosh! I can't believe you lied to me. Big time.
I am really sorry but i dun believe in carrying on something that starts with a lie.
Because of that, i hope you dun call me anymore.
I also hope you dun be stubborn and won't still continue calling.
Bye"
He replied this back to me,
" I told u i am sorry
its just that i like u so much'
i never want to hide anything from u da
try to understand me
i respect ur words
i wont call u unless u agree to talk to me
if u dont like my face at all i cant help me
do think about it daplsi just wanna be ur friend
just miss ur voice also
bye"
*Sigh
Enough said.
Well well well.
It's okay. Whatever.
I can't believe it is fucking Valentine's Day tomorrow and i have no date. Not that it matters. Who am i kidding, of course it does!! Not that there were no offers but still, it should be celebrated with conversations.And no one satisfies that criteria yet.
I just realised that this blog is reaching quite a number of readers which means that whoever or whatever that happens to me, i write it down here. Some may be good, some may be bad and at the end of the day some people get hurt and some just huff it away. Or some may toss and turn thinking about what i say here. Should i stop posting whatever i want to really say and be kind or should i just fuck it? I think "Fuckin' it' sounds and seem a much better option.
This post that i am about to post is rather X-rated and not for the faint hearted.
Me, Hani and Bib were talking about sex yesterday. About preferences. Bib likes it soft and slow.
Hani likes it funny and quirky(the bonehead that she is, it did not catch me by suprise). I tend to like it rough, like animalistic. Talking about that made me transported to this guy, i won't name. It dawned upon me that i was never in love with him cause my misses of him only surfaces whenever my hormones starts bubbling like a pot of Campbell's soup cooking too long. To add salt to my sexually deprived self, Bib whipped out the vibrating condom that was presented to her as a birthday gift. That little pink vibrator that reminded me of many explosions within myself whether self-inflicted or shared. The memories came rushing back and i was so tempted to dial his number , much like the drive you get after a night of clubbing and the alchohol that drives you to dial that someone that you eventually might regret. But, then i thought about the consequences that might occur and that it would knock me two steps back in my quest to free myself from and pheromones that might be filling the air whenever i am near him.
This brings me to this book that i read that explains why we do what we do in a very simple, cavemen-like manner. Like, how man cheats because they were never designed to be monogamous and how females feels too much because our ol' Cavewomen had nothing to do but feel for their child and protect them in a way that is almost similar in how the silverback gorilla protect the other gorillas.
In a way, i kinda realise what they are trying to say but i really dun agree. I mean, if we were designed to just be like how our Cavewomen and Cavemen did, There won't be buildings, there won't be love, there won't be IBM, No iPod, no such thing as a happy family(whatever that is left anyway), no such thing as loyalty being included in marriage vows being exchanged. Though it does explain how the most demure beings can be an animal between the sheets.
Anyhow, i found the book a quarter full of bull shit, and dumped it back to the library and worry about the next victim who read it who might just lose hope in love and just go to the seemingly simple and totally logical behaviour of these 'primates'. The world is full of mystery and explaining it in that manner is just so.. irresponsible and lazy. Lazy to find out the many layers of the heart and the mind.
Our mind and the world hold much more possibilities than we can ever imagine.
The world is your oyster.
It is what you make of it.