SCREAM!

The blogger

archives

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
October 2008
November 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009

Talk,bitches

Blair Catalog

credits

Adobe Photoshop
Photobucket for hosting
basecodes mothersound
fonts x x

Thursday, December 22, 2005

This is the point where either my ego talks or just the Zulaikha who slacks under the block with you talks. I prefer the latter.

Sha, i got to tell you something, i have just realised also that i am not as stable in my thinking as i thought i was. One of my main characteristic is contradicting, the characteristic we both share at almost the same frequency. I know that i really should not get mad at you for getting pissed off, now, thinking about it, if you weren't, then i would not call you a true friend.

All this while, i know that the argument was between me and you. Just me and you. But let's just say that this fight between ME and YOU have taught me who are my friends and who are not. Seriously.

Yes, i do admit that the truth is very hard to accept coming from you, and yes, i thought everything was just dandy and i needed a rude awakening. I was mad at you for not waking me up but then i ask myself, if you tried, would i just diminish u even more? U and me, our personality is so so similar, our ego and how we talk when we fight. Trying to say something that means another. I know, u know. Then i decided to just take a holiday from everything. Yes, bib and hani was there. They will always be there like how i will for them. This takes courage for me to admit, yes, i did miss u. a lot. But i would much rather believe otherwise.

"you were a lady of your words." Sometimes, you say things at that point of time but find it difficult to do it. I am certain you have had those moments before. Yes, you made sacrifices, i did too. But you know what, fuck the sacrifices. At the end of the day, it is whether you can look at each other in the eye and say thanks. When i said,'i know what i am doing', i didn't. We had two hands claping, the thing is we could not see the hands properly and missed.

Yes, i am smart. I know that. Thanks. such a pity i did such a thing.

This is seriously what i am feeling right now. Look, i dun know what will happen to whatever remains of this friendship. Between me and you. This crack i made, broke. The saddest blow to my ego is admitting that it was mostly my fault. I was immature in exploiting whatever we shared to others when you could have done more.
I am sorry for my past.
I dun expect anything really when i am saying all this.