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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Finally, i feel that i have finally gotten out of the worst period of my life where my lifestyle changed so fast and so drastically. i am going to put my life in perspective now. Before that, i just got to tell you, i did not go to school again! know why? cause school ends at eleven and then we have an excursion. WTF? Our school is so fucking disorganized, more so than myself that i just wish i can stroll in the principal's office and do the organizing for her. Seriously. But i am going to go study with syarifah later at 3. Freaking out! This reminds me of o'level where i feel so...unsettled. I am going to do a study time-table, a detailed one and stick to it. promise!

K, let's re-cap on the most fucked up aspects in my life right now.And see if we can rectify the mistakes done.

Relationships.

I duch know what to say. When i finally like somebody, they must always treat me like shit. I wonder why? Karma? Perhaps. Well, what the hell. I don't deny the fact that somebody being there for me sounds tempting. And i would be there for him when he needs me too. I admit i am somebody in love with love too. But that does not mean that i am incapable of loving someone for who he is. One day, he will arrive. If he's riding in a white horse somewhere, tell him to take the plane, it is faster. Well, not anytime soon so okay, perhaps he can take the bus.

Financially.

I waste money too much. Like i cannot save and cannot rest untill i spend every single penny and if i were to use it to buy lasting things, it would not be so bad but instead i splurge on clubbing, cigarettes, pool and food. Things that are just wasteful. I need to save.

Academically.

I want to do well. I swear! But i just dunnoe when i want it. I can prioritise 'cept fer maths but i am just not independent yet in managing my time. i thought i could but everytime i study, i expect and when i fail, i get down in the dumps. Go J2? i will try my very best!

Family.

Sometimes when your elders dun wanna change, you change. No matter who your friends are, your family are your friends God chose for you. The only person i hate though is my mum. That crazy girl.

maybe i can try to improve myself better as a person. and shyanne, your wish on becoming the best in all aspects is the same a s my ambition too. Scary!