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Thursday, November 18, 2004
something i just wanted to write!

i was going through my old diary and suddenly i was washed over with nostalgia..haha

being with Samsul has really taught me a lot of things like my new found independence and the stubborness of conforming to another guy's likes and dislikes. To me, my life is now my life and no one, i mean, NO ONE, can make my decisions for me or decide my future. And this is how i have grown.

Now that i have grown a lil' it has made me realise who i really am and how you cannot change it. I am straightforward and sarcastic. I hate it when people think i am dumb or take my patience for granted and how people judge as if they know me better than i know myself.

it seems just like yesterday that i actually went through what i read yet it was like 2 years ago..one day i will read my blog and be like hey..it has been another 2 years and i would be 18...bwuahaha..

in the blink of an eye, my secondary school life is over. 4 complete years of smiles, tears, tantrums and being in deep shit. Man, god knows!

My mum's having financial problem and my ultimate dream in life is to be somebody and ship her out of this hell hole. that's my goal to be another arwah nana. I have come to accept how my real family treats me and i dun care. it is funny how life changes when you look at things using your brain instead of your heart huh?

Another thing that i have come to learn is how you should respect people all as equals,as human beings instead of labelling them as your mother, brother and etc.

This have shoen how it helps in your life, especially in my relationship with rajiv.

ok, firstly this guy has his own views and perspectives on things. Because of this we share views and since i look at him with an open-minded mind, i allow him to go wherever he wants. i am not going to bug myself and torture myself with the thoughts of whether he will cheat on me or not because you never know. but his love for me is intense and can really be felt deep inside.