Zulaikha's

2009-04-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Shifting back to LiveJournal. Heh.

JOOTOT.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

knock off

2009-04-08T02:47:00.000-07:00

I got 10 mins before I get off from work and I am very glad that this week is a 4 day a week. Perhaps, I should go out somewhere and give the girls a ring since I feel like suddenly I am amiss once again. Funny la, I see more of my friends who are flying and travelling than those who are right here in Singapore. Hmm.

My colleague finds it helpful that he pops by every now and then to talk about nothing in particular but I dun really think that is true. I think it's time for me to boogie. Where are my friends, dammit?

peact

2009-04-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

WORLD LISTEN UP!

I am officially excited after a very long time! And this is because, I can finally think of some junk that I have been waiting to purchase for a very long time and there are certain projects that I hope would fall through. I feel like I have the capacity to now further reach my potential to change all this energy towards something more fulfiling and lucrative.

Financial times are hit hard by my sources, namely Mummy and him but it's fine because come July, things would seem much better.

And these are just some of the things on my list to buy which I know I can even purchase right now, but I dun like to part with money unless I know there's still a substantial amount for me to spare.

A Canon, which one, I dun know.
A new phone with a NORMAL keypad. Not qwerty, not, touchscreen.
Coastal scents makeup palettes
A LOT OF MAKEUP
More formal wear
A trip to Bali
A trip to Bangkok
LASIK surgery (since mum bailed on this, what da ya expect?)

I CAN'T WAIT. I really hope my project falls through and the guy gets back to me about the proposal and booking of my very OWN office space other than the job I am having. But I don't want to get my hopes up high because he ain't even calling yet. Meanwhile, I hooked a tutee for now and that's marvellous. Besides that, I plan to keep myself totally busy.

I am super excited.

What have I been upto? I have been pretty much been staying at home due to lack of moolah (and i ain't afraid to say it) and cuddling on the couch with him eating maggi mee and watching hindi movies. We finally broke our no clubbing spell of 2 months and finally went out yesterday.

But seriously, I really wanna go clubbing with the girls. BAH.

I got to go do the laundry and then get some shut eye. Love you guys.

Promiscuos

2009-03-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

Out of these two Fergie and Promiscuos heels, I would take the latter in a heartbeat and why is it that I long to have one of these strappy booties? After I saw someon pulling off rocker grunge. I am effing tempted to go there. Seriously.

Did a 50 minute at the gym today but ate half a tub of ice cream, what can i do? My period's drawing near, i got to have them sweets! I usually crave meat but at these times, I need something really sweet. Which leads me to think about something right now, I seem to have this affinity for tea and coffee right now and is starting to have like more than 6 cups of it per day and i like it 'katai' = sweet = not good = diabetes when i get old. And so I have planned to keep a stock of sweets in my bag to pop once the craving starts.

Oh yeah! I fucking got a job as a personal assistant at Great Eastern and I am truly very happy about it because there is room to grow here and advancement in renumerations and also upgrading courses, all paid for. And if I behave, the opportunity to follow him for his conventions. I am so happy that I am short listed out of 100 plus applicant and I had to go through FOUR sets of interviews ok! Let's not jinx this one.

Tomorrow's spring cleaning, gym and need to settle some paperwork to see if I can afford to go and take my degree without taking a loan. Yes, I insist on paying it myself. Period. And then, I get to see him after 4 days.

Him: I think we should get married soon. I got enough CPF anyway. (so unromantic)

Me: I think we will sooner than we expect.

Him: So shiok, starting a whole new life with you. hmmm. (awww)

Me: I can't bear to wake up without u there one day so yeah...

Both of us kept quiet.

Him: Eh. why u blushing?

Me: WHAT THE FUCK, I am SOO NOT blushing. (liar)

I hate it when it gets toooo mushy, I cannot take it.

Man, I got to go to sleep people of the world. This post was just to tell u how much I loved the shoes!

I loved yesterday with the girls(and guys). Picss soon

Top 5

2009-03-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

I have compiled the top 5 things I really, truly, deeply love to do:- besides clubbing and being with the man.

1) Sitting in a coffee shop/coffee joint/ anywhere that sells coffee/tea and sit down for hours, talking and smoking and staring at random passer-bys. Just wondering, at that exact time of the day, what thoughts were in their heads, what worries are they juggling right now. And what's in their hearts.

2) Talking shit and serious matters with my favourite girls in the world, get the latest scoop, try to watch out for one another, complain/praise our boyfriends, compare notes of latest purchases and bitch about others.

3) Staying for hours inside any makeup/beauty product store (alone! nobody has enough patience to be with me when i get into this mood) with my Ipod on so that sales people don't get to talk to me (haha!)

4) Smoking and dumping. This usually happens after (1), (sorry for being gross), but I usually arm myself with the latest Cleo/GlamourGirl/Vogue and whats-nots.

5) Making lists. I love making list, last year and this year, i make it for most of the things on my list and I have stopped making lists due to lack of funds. But hope all that would change, soon.

I hope the girls wake up early tomorrow please.

I think I might have met the person I want to be with all the time.

2009-03-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'll feel like blogging soon, I guess.

But not now.

So I take my leave for like a few days

Someone challenge me in Yahoo Pool

if u dare.

pop

2009-03-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

Love love this shot. More where that came from but have yet to resize it yet.

Will be back when i got time.

Muacks

fuckface

2009-03-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

I've had about had it, seriously.

Nobody ask me who this is directed to, ok? Because I am not going to say anything.

First and foremost, you fuckface, what gives you the right to think that you can do just about anything you please because you know that he/she would always believe you? You are so fugly, I swear, it pisses the bile out of my liver(this is so oyz line).

Second, u self righteous nincompoop, YOU are advicing me? Now, why don't you do everyone a favour and just mind your own business the way you have been doing all this while? Because firstly, you don't have a fuck clue what you are talking about. Secondly, I know you are only saying all this to make yourself feel all the fuck better about the pathetic excuse of a woman/man you are.

Thirdly, who the fuck are you to talk to me however you please and expect me to not do a damn thing about it? I might go far from here, from you, from everyone else and start afresh. My soul needs it.

Phew. there, now I am off to bed with smoke coming out of my nose. Nights.

another one

2009-03-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's another day of doing nothing else except to fear if things would be different from today and if things would suddenly take a turn for the worst. Ahh.. things would not change no matter how hard I try to tell myself otherwise.

Jay has been staying here for like 3 days already and it has been good but I need to get out for a bit, which is why I cannot wait to meet the girls on Thursday. Before that, tomorrow is time for me to go meet my mum and some activity should be good for me. I am soooo bored, I hope I get that admin job.

2009-03-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps, there has been a tragedy that I hope would blow over soon.

Still hoping for the check to clear to purchase the handy dandy camera, hopefully mummy dun bail out on me. ok, ok, i think i go to sleep now also good.

Byeee.

Beauty related

2009-03-04T04:40:00.000-08:00

I need to pee but here I am frantically searching for something to do online, funny how something so urgent also, I find myself so lazy to go and do it.

I think I really need to first and foremost, reset my body clock and start sleeping properly and getting ONLY 8 hours of sleep per day. I keep sleeping and sleeping my life away. Tomorrow is another busy day with a back to back interview of hopefully not another shitty job and then should be meeting some of the rest to go to the Suntec City's career fair. After which, I hope to come back home and hit the gym for an hour or two and then organize my wadrobe.

Stupid me went to throw away my organizer because I thought that "Hey, I just graduated, right? "There shouldn't be so many things to do but THERE IS! There is so many appointments I have made that got me booked to a gazillion years but I cannot do anything about it because I dun have a job=no money!

So I am going to do up a calender purely to focus on two things and two things only because my mum's issue done with, got her under control, so to speak. Firstly, about looking in the mirror a bit more because right now, I am so contented that I dun bother getting up and being active. In layman's term, I have been eating and sleeping and eating and sleeping. And my hair is all fried up because, erm, i tie it into a bun and forget about it. And my SKIN.... ugh, my skin is dull! And...and, dun even get me started on my dark circles ok! This post is going to be purely superficial ok.

So here's my superficial wishlist:(not shopping for clothes more like beauty products things)

ROC dark circles treatment (because I look 20 years older than my age)

Sunscreen (non-oily)SPF 50
Moisturizer for night and day
A good eyeliner that does not smudge and is BLACK

Let me digress ok, there was a time when my nickname when I was in primary school and secondary where I was being bullied for being dark-skinned. No, not indian, I was really dark skinned and looked oily and greasy and was called names. And then, I was attracted to this particular indian ad of 'Fair and Lovely'. At that point of time, I had no money but wanted to try it. We could not use compact in school and the only thing I wore was fair and lovely because there is a lil bit of powder in there. And when I was in Sec 4, there was a BIG difference in my skin tone. And I stopped there, and started trying out other more expensive moisturizers. And I never thought anything about it. Recently, my beauty cash bank has hit rock bottom, so I went back to using fair and lovely.

A funny thing happened, I went to Jay's place the other day and went to talk to Jay in one corner. The maid ran to his sister and told her that Jay is with a different girl. The sister was puzzled and went to investigate and called out to Jay, making me turn as well. She took one glance at me and stared at the maid and said it is the same girl! She said in tamil, this one prettier than the other one, fairer... I went like, WHAT? And she is not the only one which led me to think that this fair and lovely really works sia! BUT BUT BUT, my skin is still dry so maybe I need to use both this one and a hydrating moisturizer.

Skin aside, I am thinking of relaxing my hair because I love my curls but it is making me feel soooo messy and I need a change. And, I was thinking of dying over my highlights and having a deep obvious brown like

But a bit darker so it won't be so obvious when it grows out.

Bah, I can talk all I want, first, let me go and get a job.

I need to go sleep. Just did a egg yolk mask on my face, now the pores soo much less obvious. My hit list keep going up but nobody's tagging. Just wanted to know who would be interested if I were to post videos, let me know. =)

Night at the marina

2009-03-01T05:58:00.000-08:00

Marrina Barrage was good but too quick.
My baby accidentally deleted so many of the pictures which makes me really sad.
Nobody wants to employ me yet, which makes me even more sad.

My mum's asking me to pack up my bags and leave home and I just might take her up on her offer. There's no food at home and I feel like eating Chilli Crab Nissin cup noodles.

I am going to go now. Bye

kabhi kabhi

2009-02-26T07:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, I can kind of say that I have graduated. I just have one paper which I missed but I studied for it already and have submitted my MCs. Could not join my classmates for their get together because I had an interview with Francis which I already cancelled like 3 times so I had to get my ass down there.

After that, I headed out to meet Jay and we dropped by our regular pool joint and had a couple, met a couple of friends. Leandra, you know, the curly hair girl in Singapore Idol last time told me a shocking revelation about our very own Taufik Batisah and I asked her, 'What was she thinking?'. She got a tad high and went off with new friends and left poor aussie guy alone. Funny girl.

Got a couple of things lined up and I cannot believe I graduated la. But still, all those studying for 3 years cannot help but to sigh a sigh of gloom and doom due to our current economical crisis. It's FUCKING HARD, I tell you. Sis's chalet on this Sat. Would be nice to get together with her.

I want to use this time to get together with everyone I made plans with but cancelled.
These past months have been shit.

I made a resolution to stop thinking of Jay as someone I am trying to mould to be a good life partner and just take things slow and easy. In fact, my resolution is to start moving and to stop taking everything so seriously and just do instead of being such a worry wart. If it sticks, it will. If not, too bad. right?

k k, going to go and sleep now, somebody make me strike lottery.

2009-02-23T19:17:00.000-08:00

I really don't understand. What the fuck am I doing???

I need to get a grip on myself and be fucking aware!
I CANNOT BELIEVE I DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

AmPm

2009-02-22T06:40:00.000-08:00

I have a feeling that this is going to be a long one and a very confession-heavy post at that.

Ok, this is the reason why it is that I refrain from socializing right now, ok and always postpone all plans.

1) I am usually broke and by broke, I dun mean no money at all but because I have to scrimp and it sucks.

2) Everytime I want to go out, my mum makes this face and attitude that brings out A LOT of guilt in me that I am leaving her alone at home and suddenly, it spoils my mood and I would much rather stay in (read: save money also).

3) I feel like a slob because my life is dis-organized and I dun feel productive. Zilch.

But now, I am feeling better. I feel empowered.

1) I dun intend to smoke anymore (it's been 3 days = only 2 sticks!), much less spend 10 bloody bucks on 20 sticks of nothing.

2) I am starting to get used to it and I get the feeling she is getting used to it as well.

3) I am still a slob but I am hell bent on getting that job tomorrow.

Alsoooo, I haven't studied anything at all for IMC. Buying ok la but IMC is zilch. Sigh.
I guess tomorrow after job hunting and all that jazz, I am going to get myself more paper and a good pen and sit myself down and finish the whole book. Wish me luck.

I sometimes wish my bf is not that possessive of me. It's like he gets rashes if I want to be away from him for awhile. Space, please. Goodness.

much loves, peeps.

Cordial

2009-02-21T21:37:00.000-08:00

Been having it pretty slow this weekend.

Stayed over at his place, mostly. His place always have good food. And chivas. =)

Question: Is it just me or does other people's laptops have ants crawling out of them??

I am currently ecstatic that I have been getting enough sleep and now that

I have cut down my nicotine sticks to already 1 stick a day(!)

(the most difficult being after a meal), my appettite's gone up!

But I refrain from eating excessively by mixing up some cordial in my H2O.

I am determined to get better skin and a healthier body.

It's raining cats and dogs down here in the North side and I am getting

sleepy again but my stomach's making some hardcore noise and I am

waiting for my mum to reach Yishun int already.

Got me an interview tomorrow evening and going to resign these four days

to do some hardcore revising. And then, I hope things at home would get lighter.

I still want to go to JB for a night out with the sis or whoever wants to come.

And I still need a proper outing with the tots, wherever they are.

I miss my girls, really badly.

Bah, I am gonna go fry an egg.

Loves.

Sticky situation

2009-02-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

YAY! Seems like my hair is finally much longer and more tame.

Woooooooots.

K peeps, let me just say it out here what it is I did today.

Day one

Jogged : 30 mins

Danced: 20 minutes

Tomorrow would be meeting him. Should be a chilled out day. I STILL need a job.

Bah. Maybe I should go revise first.

Bye.

Postnatal

2009-02-18T17:53:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOD!

Yesterday, I followed the sister down to try a trial version of the London Weight Management place, you know the place that is featured in ''Beauty Files" in Channel 5? Yea, that one. Firstly, we had to go for a consultation, I was so demoralized, I tell you. So, since i very-the 'kepo', I had the opportunity to receive a trial as well. I only got two courses so the first one is when we had to enter a sauna which is much hotter than any of the saunas I have ever been in, and trust me, I love a good sauna. Right when I entered the place, my pores on my hands, leg and EVERYWHERE started perspiring, BIG TIME. Me and my sister had to stay there for an excruciating 15 minutes.

We showered and then I was led to a room where they applied this lavender ampure(?) thingy and wrapped a hot blanket on me. Why? To remove the water in my body and toxins, too. I sweated like 5 drop per second, I am not bluffing you! My heartbeat pumped as if I am sprinting but all I am doing is lying down! Just these two treatment that takes less than 1 hour made me drop half a kilo!!!!

I swear it's fucking awesome, if you have a credit card, that would be more awesome because you can pay only 150 per month. Goodness, anyone who is interested, ask me, k? I can get cheaper price for you. My sister signed up, I am just going to try exercising first. Then, can try and psycho mum once the financial situation is better.

After London, I dropped by my sister's place to learn that my nephew can walk already and he does this face that makes him look like the spawn of the devil. Adorable. After that, scooted off to meet my sick boyfriend and hang around with his boss since the boss won't be coming back to Singapore for quite awhile.

I like his Italian boss, totally witty. But Jay does not like it, though when I talk too much and he is not in the spotlight, so, tried my best to keep quiet

.....

Right.
I talked and talked and talked. =)

We went down to our fave place to have a few drinks and resigned, at 2am, to the fact that we were both really tired. I slept only two hours the previous night before waking up at 4am to help my mum out at the shop and then went out all the way. We went back to his place and snored the remainder of the night away. He went to work and I went back home. Time check: 1015am and I am still not asleep. I am dead serious about losing this weight, I bought prata back home but I am not touching it at all. I might even try to quit smoking.

Because HE just woke up one day and decided to quit and have not been smoking for the past week! I am going to try to do the same. k k, going to sleep Thursday away.

Goodnight, world.

RANT

2009-02-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps, opened the create post window like from 3pm. Time check : 11:07pm.

Was doing up my resume and posting it to like damn a lot of companies. Please hire me, I need a proper job already. I need a proper pay packet already.

Ok, this time, i promise I really really will start losing weight, seriously. I can't bear it no more. Ok, no more chocolates, sweet drinks and CHICKEN CURRY. PLEASE. My brother is already starting on his weight loss thingy. Cannot stand this at all.

Ok, another thing, the government is giving me money and what do I do with it, pay my bills! You know what I could have done instead? Buy a camera. GOSH! FUCK ME la ok, for being so fucking stupid.

Another thing, how can a girl be SO gorgeous, you tell me?? Everytime, I look at her, I feel like kicking my face in the mirror. Secondly, why do I have such fat fingers? If u slim down, will your fingers slim down too? Grr.

BYE.

YAY!

2009-02-15T03:37:00.000-08:00

joy

2009-02-15T00:31:00.000-08:00

How did you spend your Valentine's?

Have been going through some rough times right now and I am starting to wonder why this blog still exist actually. For a moment, I had to take some time to rectify all the things that were going wrong in my relationship, family and in my plans after graduation. Truthfully, I cannot really express how glad I am that I am left with the two final steps that is my papers due on the 24th and 25th.

This relationship I have with him is soooo different from the others that I have been in. This relationship is all about prepping ourselves for the next step. I love him a lot lot and we need to do some major sprucing up to our lives in order to stand one another.

" I don't believe in divorce, I believe in murder" - i said.
"I had a dream, u killed me with a chopper while I was sleeping" -he said

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

After one week of giving him the cold shoulder, we finally talked it out and realised that this is worth it. Love is when it hurts holding on and when it hurts letting go. Oh gosh, I am blabbing like an idiot. The point of this entry is not to make you puke but to give some words in this blog and ended up all about him. bah. Promise this is not going to be a habit.

After talking and jiggyjaggy, we spotted this aeroplane thingy from like looooong ago from this mama shop. LOL. He bought the big one, i bought the small one. But his suck.

euphoria?

2009-02-11T22:11:00.000-08:00

It's a sad, sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd.

Sorry seems to be your hardest word.

use-much

2009-02-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

Underworld was good. There's something not right in this, I think and tomorrow, I shall address it with him. I need to move on and I really do not know if this is the right thing or not. Man, I hate this.

I really hate this.

LATE

2009-02-10T07:58:00.000-08:00

It's about time, i just post up my late late late KL trip so that when I look back through the archives, at least I have something to remember that trip by.

NOT AT ALL IN ORDER BUT NAH!

2009-02-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

The first thing I am going to do tomorrow is drink some coffee, head out to Esso and buy my a Straits Time and try to get me a few interviews. I need a job so badly.

It's HIS BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!

I have no money at all sia!

ELEV8TER

2009-02-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

I WAS STARVING. And I want to rant because my brother:

1) Promised to go jogging with me - didn't happen
2)Promised to make a chicken burger for me - didn't happen
3) Don't let me sleep and made me watch him play DOTA.

Tomorrow, I can sleep in and meet my baby poo only at 6pm. And go and eat Japanese Udon at Jurong Point. YAY! My fave. One of it.

Hope I can squeeze in a workout before that. How contradicting. Tsk tsk tsk.

Aloha

2009-02-05T08:24:00.000-08:00

Hey, hey, just something that would suffice for now. Just got them new specs-y. And I am SO FREAKING HAPPY that all the important projects are over. And though I was super disgusted by my IMC, I guess, I am just glad that it is over. They want to go to school everyday next week and I said that I would too. Yeah, right, we shall see.

Monday's the boy's birthday and I am super broke. It's not even funny. I plan to do up a scrapbook which is a challenge in itself because I am SUPER NOT creative, seriously. But oh well, at least it's something.

Some astrologer person who predicted the right things about Jay and about me and him and told Jay that the 'auspicious' time for us to get married is mid this year. Which made the boy a tad too excited and I had to reign him in which didn't get him that pleased and he went to bed with a frown. What to do?

I have nothing to do today and have been bumming all the way from the time I reached home from school. Feel so bummed that the cash is not flowing in, think it is about time, i go look for a job. Yes, a job, people.

Ok, I shall up my ass and upoad all the school pictures from as far as I can find and also the KL pictures. Also uploaded to my Facebook, k? Friendster suck.

WTD

2009-01-29T06:24:00.000-08:00

Looks like I can't seem to juggle as well as I thought. Things at home is disrupting my own schedules and it is time I stop worrying about Mum and worry about myself for a bit, at least for these next two weeks.

It really sucks what is happening right now and I wished I could do something more to wipe that frown on my mum's face because this is not fair to her at all. I don't blame her, this is consequences and today, I sincerely felt like crap. After trying to keep it in so much, I had to explain.

I do not appreciate it and I really am indifferent. Really. It numbs so much and I hope it blows away soon.

Uppity

2009-01-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't been blogging.

Been pretty much shitfaced this CNY, having a good time, no pictures, sorry.

Bill reached an optimum 700 bucks due to our Port Dickson trip. Grr. Just took a poo and heading out to school now for SDVM presentation. Ok, Zulaikha is back to school mode. Two more weeks, hell week is next week. I better get well rested before that and stop doing my things in the wee hours of the morning.

Bye, the world awaits me.

Angst

2009-01-22T11:52:00.000-08:00

I almost had enough of fucking school. I swear!!

I want to go club with my baby, I want to go out with the tots, I want to go one degree. it 355am and i just finished CRM. Now for SDVM. Jay's snoring beside me, it's like he lives here now.

Oh well. Sometimes there will always be suck ups in this world.

Or-gan-ize

2009-01-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

Here I am in school, a little bit too early. Just because I wanted to get out of the house early. Thank god for the fact that he comes over to my place. I swear to god last week was financial hell. This week feels a LOT lighter thanks to mummy dearest. I will never ask but I won't turn it down, heh. The only place I have been to so far is...... SCHOOL. Today, I am taking a break, imma go and meet my darleengs.

Before that, I want to take down the important dates first.

This week:

Mon - Entre
Fri -SDVM (makeup) & CRM test

Let me digress, CRM ICA 1&2 was done quite bad which did not suprise me one bit also because the entire report took me 30 minutes because it was like, the last day of school and it is such a retarded module, I didn't bother to sweat blood on it. So I think this test is kinda important for me to pull up my grade, seeing there is no exam on it. Ok.

I have yet to know what tests are for the next next weeks. Will jot it down and write it here. 24th and 25th feb are my final exams and then it's FUCKING GRADUATION!!!

And then, I am going to sleep for 1 week, club for one week, everything! SIGH! Faster la! Just don't ask me to get married just yet. Wait long long(2 years?). I go enjoy first.

Bye.Back to doing Entre.

Fucking shit

Grrr

2009-01-17T13:14:00.001-08:00

Right after i pay my bills, there are some serious things I consider buying

Neutrogena Fine Fairness range
ROC deark circles treatment
Bobbi Brown Concealer
MAC eyeshadow pallete
Try to get a hold of Urban Decay's eyeliner pencil
Another Bobbi Brown in Putty
Get the navel pierced
Clothes
Another pair of clubbing heels i can break into

BAH! No money No talk la you.

1:36am

2009-01-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

I want to go shopping. I want to get money. I want to be free. I want to go Sentosa and KL.

I WANT TO GET A LIFE!

Too late to apologize

2009-01-16T19:20:00.000-08:00

This is the first part of my Murphy's law holiday to Tioman which turned out and ended up as Port Dickson. This is the first part. Second part will come soon.

Peace out.

CosmoGirl

2009-01-15T22:25:00.000-08:00

I just had a goooood 13 hour sleep. Things at home are bad but I am not making it get to me. I am glad we have another person in our family circle which is my baby truly.

This week was ROUGH but I managed to survive all the tests which I thought was not bad. PS was a killer but I can manage a pass, at least. I think. Today's meeting was cancelled which was sweet relief. I get to laze at home and do nothing at all. Just had a cup of teh tarik (hahahaha!) and read up on the mags Nat borrowed me, I haven't had time to go through it.

But before that, let me finish my Entrepreneurship and then my baby's going to come around. (The house is a lot noisier with him) We made a pact to stop clubbing so much and start getting active.

Me: BEE! Let's start playing badminton!

Him: Ok, do you know how to play?

Me: Hell YEAH!

Him: But do you know the rules? I don't like to play with amateurs.

Me: *!&&#@(#

Talk about a relaxing game does not apply to two competitive people. I think I lost som weight this week. The projects and tests are blessings in disguise. I spent the time I shove food in the mouth to shove knowledge up my ass. Ok Ok, I got to go now. I wish I had a cam.

I believe things are going to get better so it will. I miss my tots.

no.7

2009-01-13T10:29:00.000-08:00

Let me ask you something, what does growing up means?

Though I might not have it spot on and though I have much to learn, let me just voice out what is it I have learnt so far. Not many people know much about the life I had before I had the chance to experience youth at its purest. Where your life is full of hedonistic fun, just worrying about grades, acceptance, status and the latest fashion of the moment. Even the darkest lessons about love just quite doesn't cut it. Have you experienced being dumped into a dark vortex of nothingness, so far in, it doesn't seem to end? Have you risen from there to stay afloat?

Now, what exactly means growing up? When that happens, suddenly you are not invisible anymore. You got to create a wall between you and the people around you, not including those you love. And then to have the courage to put your needs aside and take on other people's wishes and wellbeing onto yourself. At times, it gets hard and your shoulder gets heavy from the burden you are carrying for them. But in no point in time, should you hate them or yourself because instead of doing that, what you can do is applaud yourself because being selfless takes more strength than being selfish. And taking pride into what you can give back and how you can give the best to yourself takes work too. In no point in time should you let others dictate how you are and how you see the things you see.

People start seeing you and listening to you. But bear in mind that whatever you do now, you have to also bear the consequences. Nobody is looking out for you anymore. Can you have the heart to sacrifice the life you want to lead for someone else? Can you find a way you can get around that? Is there a point of time that everyday seems like a journey and to close your eyes and surrender to sleep seems like escape, almost?

Would there be one day where I get it? And then, this adjustment would stop.

My new year's resolution?

To be sure of myself in whatever I do. To take pride in everything i do, to hold my head high everyday because I survived something you cannot imagine whatever one person had to go through. And while, there are those who are more fortunate than me, I pray that those who aren't would be blessed with enough strength and help for them to open their eyes and remain grateful that they still have that one day to make a change to their life and to someone else. Because I am. I am grateful, God, for giving me that hard knock in life.

Amin

rant, rant

2009-01-13T08:21:00.000-08:00

I am dying. Seriously. I got two more lectures to go and then to do IMC. And then tomorrow, I need to go study Personal Selling. And then finish up Entre.

And I need a break because I dun even know when is the end of all this.

I FUCKING HATE THIS

2009-01-12T22:28:00.000-08:00

Zulaikha is on hiatus til CNY when i have time to breathe

Update

2009-01-12T06:01:00.000-08:00

Ya, ya, I know I should be studying my ass off right now. But I decided to take some time out from blogging. This is seriously a very rough time for me but I am trying my best for my actions not to show what exactly I am doing to rectify it. To juggle school and people's feelings, and family and friends and Jay and money is seriously starting to wear me out. I just feel like I cannot seem to handle this all at once and I am trying to pull myself together and be self reliant but I know all of this facade will only hold for a few weeks till I go crying to any one of my tots.

Tues ==> IMC meeting and study for Buying

Wednesday ==> Buying test & study for Personal Selling

Thursday==> Personal Selling test & IMC project submission

Friday ==> Entrepreneurship (must finish!!)

I cannot wait to graduate, seriously, if anything, this 3 years have taught me more lessons than anything else. Ok, ok, let's not sound so depressed.

Good things happen too. So, this month, I am going to charge head on and not make any more excuses for myself. Wish me luck babes... and fellas.

Ciaoo

Reunion

2009-01-11T17:35:00.000-08:00

There is no such thing as fun frills chit chat with this one.

Hahaha.

But I love her and her ala Gossip Girl HTC.

Love love.

Official Hello

2009-01-06T09:02:00.001-08:00

Hello!

I shall be changing my layout when I have the time and shall not make it so obvious, this blog. Having anon readers makes me a bit cautious. Open to gossip fod. But what the hey, there is no fun without gossip so yeah.

I shall be blogging more religiously now. And I made a new year's resolution to be on time for all my classes and not skip anymore and it's 1.04am now. So, I think Imma head to bed now.
Yay to the fact that I can create my own layouts again! Stoopid livejournal.

Ok,ok, before I head off. I need to tell u a discovery I made. Revlon rocks my freaking boat la!! I swear Yat(my gay friend) knew what he was talking about when he told me Revlon's Caramel beats ZA 34 anytime. Yup, if u are reading this, Yat, thanks! I am super broke now. Really.
My line got cut in the middle of the lecture because I decided to go clubbing instead. ahem. So, Imma change my number again and will let everyone know, k?

My mum was talking about my marriage again today and today, he pissed me off. How like that? Whatever la. Oh, btw, my Omnia sucks. People, please buy Experia or Iphone instead.

P.S: I can have a TAGBOARD again!! Hahaha. So 'jakun'. And and.... i feel like I can write and write and write. I got a lot of pictures to post.

Bye.

My private posts

2008-11-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

I just highlighted the only person who is being the problem to my headache right now and that is me. Why do I think that everybody is stepping all over me? That is because I am stepping all over me. And how do I do that? Because in the past, when I look in the mirror, all I see are my strenghts and my ability to be able to walk out that door and do whatever I want. But now, all I harp on is how I am never good enough. But I am.
I used to accept the fact that my life is like this and that no matter what, there are some people who would just talk the way they want and that is due to their own personality and perceptions of their lives. I accepted that and the only person I dumped the responsibility of taking care of me was me. But now, I know that my safety net is there but thing is, the one I am safest to is me. Now, I fight whatever that is my life right now and pine for something else which I can never achieve because it draws on an exactly different map.

And I do not want to harp on it anymore. I am now going to stop talking about the fact that I was acting like a total pushover and start taking more pride in myself again... From that, I shall take my leave and shall update this blog for deeper, more 'diary'-ish post to make the weight in my head a little less heavier.

Just another one

2008-10-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

I burst a blood vessel in my eye and it is super irritating because it makes me self conscious to go out and it's tearing up like crazy. Ee-yucks.

I am supposed to meet Jay and pack up my belongings tomorrow which I am not really excited about. Mum's being a big *ahem* and it is pissing the hell out of me really.

It is obvious that I am posting just for the sake of posting but what the hey.

See ya peeps.

Welcome home party

2008-10-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, I am back to Blogger,ya'all. Not deleting my livejournal because I might switch back. By far I have 4 blogs now.

Heh.

See ya peeps. Bear with the skin for now, k?

2008-03-04T23:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, i have made up my mind. I am shifting to Livejournal. It is nothing great.

But i need a change. So please. Update ur links peeps. Oh,and add me if u are a livejournal user.

Click here!

2008-03-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

I met him today and to tell you the truth, I was excited..... until I met him.

What a downer. Bleagh.

2008-03-02T23:44:00.000-08:00

LIVEJOURNAL/BLOGGER?

2008-03-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

THAT'S IT!

Where the hell is Jay? I am dead bored and I need a hug. Pronto. His flight better not be delayed. There are many things I cannot wait to do with him once he arrives. Play pool, talk, wait... what were you thinking?

I am dead bored and I have unhouse arrested myself and my organizers booked for the next three weekends. I need a break.

I need a threading session, a shopping spree, a fucking pedi. I need a life. House arrest is not for me.

2008-03-01T01:56:00.000-08:00

I have something to say. Nothing weird there, huh?

People my age, 19-20, people not my age 15 to the age of 40, they all complain about one thing. The lack of a partner, that one and only one they would like to put all their doubts, their dreams,their affection without thinking twice, without worrying if it would backfire because truthfully, in this world, the purest love is not really that attainable. People cheat, people hurt, people are selfish and that is one of the worst thing to have within one self if u are searching for real love. But. It is necessary to defend yourself if all else fails. I am not going to talk about how to acquire real love because as you know by now, I am no expert.

However, i am amused by how people are in a rush these days to settle. No, not settle down, just plain settle. They have minumum requirements embedded in their imaginary application for the position of the 'One'. Not THE One but a 'one'. The one they would make do with. The one they can live with. Yes, sure no one is perfect but when you know that the person you are with is not the one you might want to be with the rest of your life, why settle? Singaporeans, I believe are raised that way.The government have education systems writtten down to ensure a successful future. Have financial plans to ensure we never fail too terribly, etc. We all have marvellous systems that you skip the part where you have to make a draft. Remember? In secondary school, we all had to all make a draft first before the real composition. Well, in real life, here, we skip that part and THAT is the general guideline where people just follow.

And in relationships, we try to have a system too. Did not get an A? Settle for a B or a 'just passed' grade. That would suffice. And when there is no the 'One right now'. They search, yearn, cry, moan, whine about when they would come into your life and make it complete. Another fucking individual who would make you complete? Are u handicapped without that person? Are you?

Why, then can't you have fun without them. No not the club till your feet hurts, till u drink and cannot stand, not the date till you drop fun. Just plain contented with being by yourself. And that person will eventually come but why then are you whining till they do?

ARGH!

I would elaborate but that would take 20 pages, hell, I would even write a book about this. I am not judging, just irritated with this issue. People, go see the sunrise and while u are there, jump into the beach and drown or something. Maybe you'll meet a mermaid and she'll be THE ONE. Tsk

Room Post no2

2008-02-28T00:43:00.000-08:00

I discovered shocking news today. Guess business with friends is a really bad idea, huh?
I think i just 'un'house arrested myself. Maybe Shmaybe.

I love love BSU because of Leah, YanZhen and Sherwin. It makes it a lot more tolerable. I just realised there were many pictures that are unposted. Maybe I will update soon after I change my blogskin. You know the feeling of stagnancy does not make me a productive person so I think changing something is the way to go. Sherwin said some gross stuff about Mac's after watching fast food nation but I don't think I could stomach watching that kind of show. Pun unintended. I don't think I can eat Mac's for a very long time. Tomorrow we are going for some Career talk and I am really interested in going actually. I have been thinking about what good opportunities the casino industry might have soon and there is a talk specially for that and I cannot wait. As if they know what I have been thinking about what career do I want to venture into eventually and there is a talk about it too. My decision have been reduced to marketing, resort and tourism, economics but I am still open to other possibilities. My ideal job would be a good mix of F&B, service, travel and a great big rush.

On a whole different note, I have this guy friend who have been my really good friend from secondary school days and today I am really pissed off about what he had to say about himself. He is one of the nicest people I have ever met and the only REAL platonic guy friend who have never tried anything funny with me. He has this girlfriend that treats him like shit and it pisses me off how he allows her to do so. The best part is he always makes excuses for her and is even thinking of marrying her. I do NOT get it. Pissed off. Wished I had some friend to introduce to him or something but knowing him, he would never think he is good enough.

Ahh... I really hope I get to go Saturday. Jay's not in Singapore. Takes down the fun level a few notches. Bah.

This was the day me, Nat and Sangeeta went clubbing. Sangeeta deleted all pics and left me with these, not exactly how I would edit my pictures but better than nothing, eh?

Wasted la that night.

Tsk, never mind another time, aight, Sangz?

I love school now.

2008-02-27T08:31:00.000-08:00

It hurts like silk on an open wound.
Gentle, innocent but the pain.
Pleasurable almost sadistic, really.
It hurts.

Are u listening?
Do you get it?
Still not contented.
Never will be.
Till this silk cut it open.
And let it run dry,
When there is nothing left.

No nothing, nothingness.
What a beautiful word.
Absence. No beat, no voice.
There is melody
Filtered by a screech.

Feels like an alarm went off,
And it goes on and on and on and on.
Used to it, really.
Fucking used to it.

Till it stops twitching.
Stops feeling.
What do you want from me?
There is nothing left.
Nothing else to take.
Nothing else to give.

Just leave me alone.
Solitude freaks me out.
I change my mind.
Stay.

But.

Argh.

Forget it, Mum

Procrastinate

2008-02-26T21:35:00.000-08:00

Short.

Myriad

2008-02-24T23:46:00.000-08:00

I remember the time we were all so naive.

Sometimes, I wish the only thing I think about is still running away from Azman.

I love them.

Dear Mum,

What can I do to make you happy?

Are we that bad?

Love, Your youngest daughter.

Room posts

2008-02-20T22:48:00.000-08:00

Hey people, my internet's still pissing the hell out of me. This time, I paid my internet's bill, i think there is something wrong with my Linksys or something. Linksys bloody telephone operator is kinda stupid. Is it just me or is China people over-populating the world. And no, I do not have anything against them. Just it boggles my mind that almost ALL of them cannot speak basic english. THAT, I still let it slide. BUT I hate the fact that these peeps are in service line. Telephone operators, waitresses, receptionists. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?!? What kind of assumption is that? That just because the majority is obviously Mandarin speaking, heck care about the rest. Which means all these times, our teachers stressed the importance of English and compositions and ORAL, it is all of no use.

Ok, back to the subject. I called Linkys which is quite well known right now in the telecomm industry or something. And the telephone operator went, "For Engrrish. press wong". Try pronouncing it, it fucking pissed me off.

Ok ok, enough angst.

I have pictures to collect from Oer Yan Zhen, Sherwin, Sangeeta.

Last weekend was awesome. I think the best part with him was when he was driving and he was stroking my hair and the aircon was blowing softly at me and the song was playing softly instead of the usual blasts of music that plays whenever we are out to parteyyy. And i fall in and out of sleep. It's almost romantic, i tell you, if I was really into all this mush right now.

It was nice, really. Jonna, next time, please come and party. I would love to explain in details, but really, I think it is a freaking waste of my time to recap. Unless i blog daily and I really dun feel like blogging daily.

Oh Oh Oh, what did u do on Valentine's? The real plan was for me, Nat and Dell to go Kboxing but I was broke so we stayed at home and chit chatted. After which, the bell rang and PizzaHut was delivered to my doorstep. I was really suprised, from Jay. Ahh.. shiok. Simple actions.

I fucking miss the girls like mad. I have been having a sudden influx of 'gerek kakis' to hang around with. But still, I cannot stop missing the tots. Really.
Such a fucking pity that I stay so far away and I have been drifting in and out of being sick. (I should have taken my antibiotics religiously) but i cannot wait for this Sat when I can see them again.

Ok then, I got to go now.

PS: Sherwin makes me have migraines about what to wear to school. Sigh.
PPS: My bill reached an ultimate high of $169 this month. I think i am going to ask Jay to subsidize for me.
PPPS: I need a notice board for my room, and a laundry basket.

Randomness.

When I'm gone

2008-02-14T21:33:00.000-08:00

My internet's fucking mad, I swear.

Ubin was effing fun. I felt like a kampong girl, having to cycle for my food and ciggarettes. Swimming and cycling. My hair would be wet all the way because every time it is dry, i am in the pool again. Heh. Loved it. Pics would be up soon. Bib's suprise birthday party was short and sweet. Miraculously, i think this was the best planned gathering we had so far. Hani cooked brownies, Fi cooked Spaghetti, Nys brought sandwhiches. Nice. Me? I ate.

Handover week is this week and my fucking junior is so 'on', it pisses the hell out of me. Knn. I just want this week to end. BSU have started. I swear I am not going to ask about any other gossips or anything anymore this semester.

I have no idea what I typed above but I got to go.

Get today over and done with and then.... The weekend's going to be a blast.
Pics soon.

Scoobydoobydoooo

2008-02-06T06:09:00.000-08:00

I am super excited because for a change, I get to go for something like a vacation here in Singapore itself. But that is not the exciting part, the exciting part is that I am going with my mum, brother, sister, the whole gang! Bunch of fun, really.

Yesterday, I received flowers from Jay! Wow, he never struck me as a romantic. HOWEVER, that still does not sway me.

Ok, I better blog fast. My brother's arriving any minute now. We plan to raid JB's stock of ciggarettes. Did I tell you my sis got a car? She's such an lucky kental. Kuna (my bro-in-law) got her a car the very next day after she passed her test. Bleagh. I digress, did you know JB has shisha? My brother introduced me this place with to-die-for Mee Maggi Goreng(Singapore's just does not cut it for me) with huuge chunks of chicken and very very well done Maggi. They also have shisha which I found out after confidently trying to justify the smell by saying it was SKL ciggs. heh. So, I might try to psycho my bro to go shisha but with this CNY stuff, I have no idea if customs would be a real bitch or a real breeze.

I feel like I have not been sleeping on my bed for the longest time.

Today 3 people asked me what I was doing for Valentines'. From painful past experiences(before I met Regan, i had a nightmare Valentine with this guy la), I would not meet someone on a date without me knowing him thoroughly. And...No.. I am not going out with Jay. A day too special, later he lovey-dovey how? So Nat, Dell and I have decided to watch chick flicks and sing romantic love songs all night @ Cash Studio. Sounds like fun, no?

Fucking random, my posts. Sorry.

I want to sleep on my bed but my brother just wants to talk talk talk talk till I fall asleep in his room.

Where is that dude anyway?

Ciao, beaver.

Insider's Scoop

2008-02-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

These past few weeks, I have resigned to my fate that I have to spend my days in Valueshop but in the days to come, I am going to be super busy.

Reports to be handed in on Wed, preparations and catching up with my darrrrling TOTS, Ubin with the family, nights out with my favourite girls from school, (jonna, you better go ah next week), chalet with MSC, which I am going to miss terribly. And then??

OFF TO BSU!

Who would have thought? It is fucking not fair that the rest got EMRS(events management) while I got BSU(Business 'Something' Unit). So... bleagh. I finally feel alive now. I guess solitude does that to you.

Okay, once again I am using this blog as my organizer. Bear with me.

Tomorrow

Reports
Prints MCs
Print Documents for reservations
Stock cards
Organize wadrobe (it's getting frustrating finding clothes)

Wednesday

Games planning
Meet the girls

Thursday

Ubin

The rest are hushed due to some reasons. Next ladies' night is cancelled because I need to pace myself on me going out. He invited me for his company dinner. Hmmm... weird.

Nat and my brother are worried that I might feel things for him. What they do not know is that I think after Regan, i am not capable of feeling the same way for people anymore. At least not right now, and honestly, I am happier this way. Contented, really.

See ya around, bitches. My brother wants to watch anime. wtf. Obsession la.

Bye.

Give me that hotdog

2008-02-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

We go mad with the mixed sausage set @ Almajlis. I can't wait.

Fruitless, that day.

Outcome coming soon.

Don't understand?

You will, soon.

@TOWN

2008-02-04T16:51:00.000-08:00

Taken when we went to Club21 to view all the luxury brand (say, Dolce and the likes) and evaluate how the retailing style of this industry is. By the end of the trip, I was really bummed out.

I feel so inactive right now. I think I am fat and a slob. I need to start running again.

I really do not understand why I cannot win Jay in pool. But i won't give up, people.

Ubin this Thursday.

Stay tuned.

AntiBiotics

2008-02-01T04:45:00.000-08:00

I feel like i swallowed a frog.

My head's throbbing, i can feel it.

I am burning up.

My body's system feels like it is under maintenance.

If not for this bowl of maggi in front of me, I would still be sleeping.

Time check: 8.47pm.

I have been sleeping for 6 hours. After taking my medicine, I got to sleep again.

Despite knowing i am going to fall sick, yesterday I popped by the Ministry of Sound after god knows how long. Smoove's crap. These fucking stupid mats are fucking irritating. I hope a new club open just for them and they ALL go there. Because, dude, it is NOT cool to shout, "TETEK BAIK AHHH" every single time u see boobs. (err.. not talking about myself). What makes u think shouting "BADAN BAIK SIOLLL!!", ]the girl's gonna get interested. Ahh.. who am i kidding, it works sometimes with these girls. My generation sucks.

Whatever la. No pictures because it sucked tits but whatever, at least my fav people was there.

I sense danger in Boat Quay tomorrow. Bwuahahahah.

I hope i feel better by then to witness his facial expression.

JimBeam&DrumBeats

2008-01-27T22:06:00.000-08:00

o I feel very tired and sick. I took off day, was feeling really bad today. I guess, today I need someone to hug me. Not just anyone, no, not even Jay cuts it. I need a real good hug from someone i care about. Where is Bib? I remember she gives the best hugs.

I really miss the girls. Before i meet them, I always think there are so many things I need to tell them but lately upon meeting them, I do not feel the need to tell them. Just sit down and sigh with relief that I am with them once again. I cannot wait for what is about to happen.

I am incorrigible. I haven't showered since yesterday. Dun worry, I won't pollute the air outside. I have been at home all the way and I have been walking around the house. To my room, back to my living room, back to my room. I had no internet until this morning which i stole from my neighbour. The TV's been off. I think I am going mad.

I refuse to meet anyone. Refuse to get to know anyone. I think it's just one of those days, you know? However, last week was really fun. Sat saw me playing pools and guzzling down you-know-what, what I do best, with J.

In the morning, I got this message from him

"Darling, what are we? Just friends? Buddies? Companions?Best friends? What do you want me to be? Dun think 'There he goes again...' Just answer me."

To which, I replied,

"Companions"

His answer?

"Can I please be the only one right now? The only one you think about? And when you find someone better, you must let me know. For now, you are mine only! Ok?"

I said,

"No."

To this, I must stress out that I do not want anything serious. Why am I sharing this? I want to know, why are people always searching for what they cannot get? Why do they not appreciate it what they have? Stoopid.

Syarifah and me caught up after god knows how long. We got complimentary drinks from CoffeeBean because they cleared up our drinks before we were done because I went out for a smoke. I love that girl, she talks sense. intellect is the word that comes to my mind whenever her name comes into mind.

Ok, I got to go shower now.

P.S: I don't know who reads my blog but everything that is written here are my daily thoughts, happenings and I have no motive to what I am posting. So, please pardon me if you sense any weaknesses in my being through my writing and not attack it.

Thank you.

2008-01-27T08:10:00.000-08:00

"I am more of a man than you can ever be but

you can never be half the woman I am"

A-ok

2008-01-22T21:17:00.000-08:00

Hey there you gorgeous people.

The reason I have not been blogging for so long is that my mum did not pay the bill again, thinking it was the SCV bill(I am starting to think that she is doing this on purpose).

So, here I am blogging while on duty in Valueshop.(Thanks Azfar). There are things happening but not really significant. I paint my nails a different colour everyday because Sasa is beside my shop. I review all the brands available there. Sasa's moisturizer rocks. Samantha's obsessed with Chips&Dale and I found myself talking to Dale the other day(I don't even know if it is spelled Dale). Anyhoo, Huang Peng accidentally burnt YZ with the steam iron. ARE U OK!?!Sigh. Nat drops by the shop a lot. I haven't seen my girls for two weeks, almost. Thank god I am meeting them this evening. HE has been keeping me company here and there. Promises of forever and ever. Yadaa yadaa and all that bull. I.AM.NOT.INTERESTED.

Understand?

Oh well. Note to self: Monday blues really exist so load up on Ben&Jerry's.

Bye, biatches

2008-01-15T09:18:00.000-08:00

EMRS is a bitch. Jonna and CJ cannot go on Wed which means that the whole world who took flexi have to cancel their flexi-s.

Many things are happening. But i am really lazy to pour over the computer photoshopping and uploading and posting and writing about those things.

Imma try ok.

P.S: My hair's pissing the hell out of me.

P.P.S: My bill's enormous. I just paid half of it.Stupid J. Till then, I am broke.

Wah, big fucking deal ah Zulaikha.

K Bye.

2008-01-13T07:44:00.000-08:00

Today, I meddled with another look, which is to fill the ENTIRE eye with eyeliner. Effing cool, i tell ya. I tell you, I can go on and on about makeup, moisturisers, anything really. But clothes, I am a basic girl. Which I really want to change. I don't want to be basic anymore.

Somebody help me change my dress sense. Oh, did I mention I was bored.

But I know next week's gonna be effing fun.

This week suck tits.

P.S: You now know how bored I am because this is my second post that I said 'suck tits'.
School's taking away my social life which sucks because HELLO!, I just turned single. I am SUPPOSED to get out there. Ah, well, that will have to wait. Right now, imma go get some shut eye.

NIGHT WORLD.

2008-01-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

Faint spells yesterday night.

Feel so much better now.

I think I need to tell him now.

Don't worry, even I dun know what to make of it.

U think he would know better than to trust me with his affections.

Some people, some people.

Besides that, I miss having a life.

Valueshop suck tits.

Aches

2008-01-10T07:18:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to watch the dishes, fold the clothes and organize my wadrobe because I want to sleep till late on Sunday and that wouldnot be possible if the hosework piles up and then would have to be cleared on Sunday. And also because I have to fucking go to SCHOOL on Saturday. Who the fuck goes to school on Saturdays? All because of open house. Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother to do these things. Ya, I know they are compulsory but i can have a choice. When 2007, I could bet both my balls(figure of speech) that I would so bail on these things. Guess I am getting better at my discipline. Next goal? Time management.

Day in, day out, it's been school, smoke breaks, lunch, whining, thinking of doing stock count but never really doing it, going home, meeting close ones*ahem* and then sleeping. I am tired. I need a drink, badly. YZ's birthday party soon next Wed.

K, i really got to get going.

P.S: I dun know where is my Ipod.

Throw rocks

2008-01-08T08:06:00.000-08:00

You know what's the problem with guys?

Before they have you, expect 4 e-mails, 67 sms, 39 calls from them everyday. Hear them take notice of every detail on your body, your accessories, your smile. Witty banter, anxious hoping. The more you shy away, the more they chase.

But after, oh my, who gives a flying fuck that you want to go to the beach to spend time with them? Who cares? ESPN is on, fucking drinking session that day. A date? Sure, tag along, why don't ya?

But all that's part and parcel, I understand but the most mind boggling thing right now are how they are willing to put themselves out there, hoping u'll pick them.

Why am i saying these?

There is an anon person I have been talking to. Met, talked, laughed. All in the name of friendship. At least for me. Untill he fell. Falling falling, dark abyss. With nothing to land on but cold hard TRUTH. And after you spell out, he starts saying that you are using him. FUCKING girl using a guy. ME! No matter how much you explain, they hear 'Bla Bla Bla', nonsense, was it?

Ah please. I had to tell him I got back with someone else, ok. And that he understood. STOOPID. Being honest doesn't pay.They'll never see it your way.

I am angsty. Let me be. Are there no more sane people?

2008-01-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

MSC

Valueshop

Friendz

Cheers

Giordano

Fusion

Sasa

Today there was really nothing to do so I dabble in what I dabble in best. Makeup. From Sasa.

Some looks I came up with. I loike. U dun loike ur pasal.

Pardon the eyebags and my eyebrows(was growing them out for threading).

I have been filling my time with my brother

And the tots(not as much as I want to but better now than before)

I love it right now.

Because right now, 'Like A Boy' by Ciara makes so much sense.

Love, love, love.

It starts.

2008-01-06T05:56:00.000-08:00

What have I been doing? School. Home. Clubbing with the folks, out with the brother.

After his phonecall that day, I could not bring myself to date. I really thought we were going till the end. After the separation, there are things I wished I had done differently but there are just some things and reasons that is going to stay in my heart. There are just some things I tried telling you but would u stop and look into my eyes? Can you read what's in them? Do you see you? Yes, that was the only thing that stopped me, you. The fact that I knew who you were, adored who you were stopped me. From what? Nvm.

Blinders, blinders, these blinders are off. Off to see flowers instead of plants, to see shapes instead of mere clouds, to see reason instead of excuses. To see independence instead on fear. To see romance instead of compromise.

To be me and not be afraid of it.

And with that, i freeze this heart. Till it's filled with cynism just like how it was, stone. To not allow anybody who tries to be something else with me, to not bend or be weak. To be heartless but real. I need to focus on priorities and they are not frivolous fun. And one day, i shall allow myself to be held and loved again but right now, no, no, not right now. For awhile.

i promise i would blog happier soon. I am happy actually but I do not know why I keep writing sad stuff. I might be moving to Livejournal so that i can lock certain entries. There are just some things I do not want people to know.

Sell Fish

2008-01-02T07:50:00.000-08:00

Selfish, he says.

Selfish would be running back into your arms and pretending everything was ok.
Selfish would be doing what I really wanted to.

Trust me when I say, it's easier this way.

Love, love, love.

BlackLabel

2007-12-29T02:34:00.000-08:00

The look on his face.

We made eyes.

It has been so so long but the gaze still dynamite.

I go to him, said hi.

He looked and his jaw dropped, his eyes bouncing.

We shook hands

He did not let go.

The flame, the flame.

I haven't changed, he said.

If only you knew.

Fact or fiction?

2007-12-27T15:12:00.000-08:00

I wrote a post yesterday regarding a certain msn chat with someone that grew a tad too heavy for me. But i took it down because everytime i logged on to Blogger.com, I see my depressing writings there and it spoils my mood.

Just came back from morning run. Time: 7.06am.

Great, just enough time for coffee and toast and then comes the hard part. Finding what to wear. Why am i blogging? Because I am waiting to cool off because they say when u bathe when u are sweating, u get these white marks on ur body. Well, not going to take that chance, people.

P.S: Have u completed your 2007 resolution?

Hushhhhh

2007-12-27T04:30:00.000-08:00

I need a trim, i need cash, i need clothes.

I need many many things but most of all, i need time.

And i can't wait for mid january. Why? Heh.

See ya.

Tis the season to be jolly

2007-12-24T00:55:00.000-08:00

You know, I never thought that many people actually thinks the way I do.

Well, I was wrong.

It's that time again. The time where so many functions are happening that I have to constantly remind myself that I do not need to check with a significant other anymore. Not that I didn't like being attached but being single gives u a sense of empowerment. Right now, I am giving myself time for me to grow. The fact that I am reaching my 20's was like a slap to my face.

I thought, 'Why the heck am I still getting affected by what people say as if I am a child? That I seek approval before going ahead with what I want to do and if I already did it, I turn and see if anyone judged me for it.'

So, I burned all my diaries because they were reminders of how scared and vulnerable I was. Yes, ALL. Including those when I was K2. As I do not smile and reminisce about what was written there. The things I write inside are all painful, toxic and right now, my life cannot get any better so I flushed all those painful memories away. Family, guys, myself... right now, I am going to try to be MY best friend. I do not need anybody to hold me tight, say everything's ok, to fuck, etc etc. I can do all those myself. (heh).

For a start, I am going to find out who I really am because honestly, I don't really know right now. Before that, Imma go ahead and enjoy my Christmas Eve. So, cheers, people.

Merry Christmas

p.s: My new house rocks.

One Week

2007-12-22T02:52:00.000-08:00

I refuse to delete his pictures, not because it hurts but because they still make me smile.

But i am recovering faster than I thought, yet, I miss him.

Que Sara, sara.

2007-12-19T00:40:00.000-08:00

I have been good. There are moments I break down but the thought that there is nothing I could do about it always sober me up each and everytime. Now, the only thing to do is to keep looking forward. Though it hurts in places that never hurt before, I know that this is for the best and though I love him a lot, it just would not work out. Nevertheless, I wish him the best of health and a very happy life.

Before this blog become a funeral home, here are the pics from the sleepover. (See how I switched the mood, if only I could switch MY mood like that. Ahh.. the beauty of writing.)

SLUMBER PARTY WITH THE TOTS

Things are always happening when we get together. We talked, got high,grabbed boobs, played twister, made monkey noises, me&hani painted on Fi's and Nys' faces when they slept. Nys pissed. Bib is a light sleeper. We got caught red-handed. Forgot my wallet in the morning. Ate prata and said goodbye.

Amy winehouse and Paul Twohill

Tourists

Cheers

Circle of Friends

We talked about things we were afraid to talk about and when the clock struck 5am, everyone got tired but Hani won't let me sleep So..

Paul Twohill

Ashanti

Kate

Amy Winehouse

Beyonce

We were just playing la, ok?!?

I hate Ashanti anyway.

K, peeps. Balcony this Fri, WOOTS!

Ouch, that hurts

2007-12-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

As I keep asking him,"Is there anything you want to tell me?", I keep crying. Mourning the thought of us being apart.

Monkeys, he call us. I love it when he pouts, I love it when he does his silly lil dance, I love his sense of humour. I just wished he would have hugged me and told me that he loved me and it pains him too to let me go. As much as it does me.

I also mourn the fact that someone as amazing as him as a person could disappear from my life and there is nothing I could do about it. And I hope dearly that I would have his friendship in my life.

We were so good together but it was a matter of the inevitable. It would take a very long time for me to be back to normal but i guess I have to get used to this.

Anybody up for anything? Keep my mind off this please.

2007-12-06T19:55:00.000-08:00

Ok all you beautiful people, Imma head across the causeway now, i'll see ya when I see ya.

Rush Rush.

2007-12-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, I only got a couple of minutes to blog before I got to hit the sack and wake up early for a morning jog and then rush to mum's shop to help her out.

Following that would be, hopefully, a snuggling session with my smoochie pie (sorry) and then would be the weekend away for Anitooz birthday bash @ JB.
Hotel: Booked
Drinks: Settled
High heels: Got it.
Just a minor concern about the riots in Malaysia. Hope it's nothing too bad.

Pictures from the sleepover on Fri and the birthday bash soon.

P.S: I got MSC for next TEP stopover at ValueShop. Thank god, it's not Cheers.

Cheers

Band of... ah, heck that.

2007-12-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

People always assume the worst out of somebody. This is inbuilt, in me, especially. Which contradicts what I do to rectify it. I try my best to squeeze something good out of those people and hang on it, telling myself they are allowed to be like that, to try my best not to judge them, pin a little bit of hopes on them.

I view whatever I went through all as stepping stones to what I am going to be and honestly, I do not think I view myself the same way people view me. You know, like I am living my life, I feel this out of body experience where I mould myself to be a certain way but somehow or rather, I cannot identify myself with it. People always say, 'Be Yourself'. What if I do not know myself? 'Do what your heart tells you'. Cut me the crap. The heart cannot be counted on for anything. Let me digress.

They cannot invent viagra for woman because, I quote, 'Women are too complicated'. And this is scientific! This, about the most natural aspect about mankind. Reproduction and we are too complicated. What's so tough, right? U put it in, they cum, we get baby. Done.

Ok, back to the point, if something so simple and barbaric is deemed complicated for top notch scientists, what about emotions. Relationships between woman and woman. Friends. My gosh, no wonder guys are petrified. No caveman ever ran away from cave woman. But now, they do because we are so complicated, we try to understand things by coming up with complicating theories and talk them out with our girlfriends who will come up with THEIR complicating theories and then emotions come. And.... you get the picture.

This post in itself is another complicating theory.

More often than not, I am called up at odd hours at different points of time when friends will call me when they need advice, when they need cheering up, when they need someone there when everyone turn their backs to them. But the second they think that their life is going well and they got a strong head on their shoulders, POOF! they are gone. Did they even bother asking, 'Hey, joo/ika/zulaikha/aunt agony, how are you? What's up? Like really...' No. Never.

And stupid lil me is kept missing them, and hoping that something's wrong just so I can have that bond with them again. But NOPE. I take my time out, my effort out, i take the trouble to FEEL them, my eyebrows furrow till it hurts but would they even take the time out to even do that for me? And then, I want them to do the same but get this, I FEEL GUILTY. Everytime I cannot do that, they make me sound like I am the bad one, that I SHOULD have been there.

But, the moral of the story is... I am done. I am going to surround myself with people who care. Care about this talkative, stupid lil girl enough to even make time to sit down and have a cup of coffee. I don't even care if it's the canned Nescafe in 7-11. Not because they are bored, or their boyfriends, grandmother, other more 'happening' friends are not there but because they truly care. I might sound selfish but HELL, I am allowed to feel selfish.

In another more cheerful note, I am blessed with people who does. A selected handpicked few but that's all I need.

And I am proud to say that I will truly go the extra mile for them, no matter what. If you are sick, I'll book you an appointment.

They should have a movie called the Band of Sisters.

....

2007-11-29T20:25:00.000-08:00

To-do list:This post is redundant, I am just using this as my organizer

Friday:

Spruce up my house. House cleaning.
Gym at 2
Wash up
Meet the girls
Buy the booze
Book the hotel room
Have fun.

Saturday:

Meet Regan
Help around the kitchen for Thipa's birthday dinner
Thipa's birthday celebration

Sunday:

Get ready for Rasha's birthday function @ Khalsa
Get drunk( my god, i sound like an alchoholic)
Ok, don't get drunk

Monday:

Work..Boo!

Bad Heels

2007-11-29T07:32:00.000-08:00

Club-hopping not's such a great idea when u are wearing 3 inches heels ( I love Heatwave).

Jonna, Yan Zhen and me hit the clubs yesterday.

See how happy she is to see me?

Hah.

Let's go!

@ One nite stand

@ Plush (which sucked ass)

One shot, that's it.

Next stop was Attica.

@ The Arena

We walked back to Plush to take our bags and left it at Arena. Yan Zhen got drunk. Yup, 7-11, cup noodles, a bottle of mineral water and beer(for me, duh!) and Yan Zhen was up and about again. Thank god.

Got followed by two Banglas and we made fun of them all the way which explains these pics.

Next @ The Living Room

CJ came!

YZ wearing my heels for me (it was unbearable)

We were picked up by three people who dragged us to the Living Room. Man! That girl can shake her booty.

I Loved it. Though the clubbing in Singapore are not suprising to me anymore. It's different la.

Took the first train home, can u fucking believe it? That took discipline! Slept the whole of thursday away. And tomorrow is the girls' slumber party. Can't wait!

Peace out.

Updates, you ask?

2007-11-26T07:25:00.000-08:00

Round 2, Bitches.

Wait, I need to stop here. I just realised that Bib's posing the 'I-want-to-slap-her-face' look. Fucking action.

K let's move on...

Friday was town again and we hid behind the lion and i realised that I reaaaalllly missed them. We talked and spilled everything like our usual weekly/fortnightly meetings where we squeeze camwhoring, the heads-up on what is happening in our lives, like 'Any updates?', what's up in a nutshell kinda thing and the crazy jump around happy-happy until gila gathering.

Sat was my monkey, Plaza Sing,traffic jams, Beowulf, Carls Junior and Crab shack. I miss him already.

Ok. Pause.

He really hates it when I take pictures while he is driving.

So, I shoot, pout and look sad when he scolds and put the camera away.

And shoot again the next time we are stuck again in a jam.

Heh.

I love him.

I just realised that we are 1 yr 6 months.

Wow. We don't really celebrate anniversaries.

Only yearly.

Him, Me, cuddling in the cinema, holding hands, pouts and beer.

I am a....

I surrender whole-heartedly.

Curwy-Wurwy, bb.

2007-11-25T07:13:00.000-08:00

You know, sometimes you act like you are the most hard-hearted bitch around when actually you just long for the best for those u care. I am often in the middle of that two personas of myself. Random, fleeting.

Tired, shagged. I need time alone.

I need to dance. Shake and shimmy my worries away.

Overdue... yet again

2007-11-22T10:30:00.000-08:00

So I take pictures of everything BUT there is no bluetooth in my lappie which means I have to plug i the USB which is fucked up so I go to Regan's place everytime I want to upload. And when I did, I realised there is wayyyy too many solo shots so Imma just forget about it.

I am really sorry for the recent absence but I have been helping out at my mum's shop because I had a headache thinking how to cough up $150 bucks for my bill. And I thought, why not? I had nothing to do anyway and I have been feeling really depressed because I haven't been seeing them much at all. And..... I managed to get it within 4 days. Woots! Just imagine what I could have bought. Oh, shove that, just imagine how much money I am wasting. Sigh.

Oh well. I am living off Fi's camera. Because Hani sucks.

Ok, actually I wasn't just at home. It was just nothing interesting to blog about. Tomorrow's town again with the girls.

Regan just bought Pro-Evo '08 (It's like the more animated Winning eleven) so we are gaming a lot! I am really busy ok!

It 3am and I have an off day tomorrow. I got to go because I wanna hit the gym tomorrow morning.

P.S: DO NOT do 600 jumping jacks with bare feet. Really.

Guess what I have been doing?

2007-11-18T09:07:00.000-08:00

Rotting at home, taking pictures.

Not going anywhere.

My mum woke me up today and we cooked, did the laundry, washed the dishes.

I feel like a housewife.

I want to get hiiiiigh. Now.

err. Hi

2007-11-16T07:59:00.000-08:00

You know, I have been feeling like I was walking in a haze of poof recently. It's like how YZ would put it, 'not existing' anymore.

After months of having an easy amount of disposable income, I sometimes fool myself into thinking that I could splurge on cab to and fro everywhere, even from my house to the MRT interchange. I calculated and I think I have spent $100+ on cabs itself and now, I am fretting about paying the bill. I think all this reality shows *ahem* are getting to me.

My mum opened a new shop which means more work for them. They start like 4 am to 10 pm. I think they are mad and like to feel useful like that. Oh well, I ain't complaining, as long as my allowance keeps coming. I feel so useless just relying on allowance, though it is comfy but still! I want a job but parents asking me to work with them, ok lorr.

I think I am obsessed about viewing my phone as an investment. I think of them as stocks and now, only Sony Ericson will do. Praise Cybershot!
I heard the K800i I just bought like 1 month ago is depreciating and a top up of 250, I can get the new one! Cheap right?! Ok, u tell me, is it worth it or should I just hang on to a phone that I love and do not upgrade every 2 months?

Moving on...

I feel like doing a lot of things, like clubbing, like Sentosa(err.. Not Zoukout, I went last year and I fell asleep on the beach and the sand got into my ass and other unmentionables. It was horrifying), I have always wanted to check out KM8 . Ok, maybe 5 kgs later la. A lot la, ok.

I miss the girls so much. I really hope our slumber party happens because if not, I am going there alone. Come on, girls!

There are many things going through my head right now, I need to go out. Big time.

Stupid USB cable

2007-11-14T23:01:00.001-08:00

I am currently busy so, u guys go and have fun while I have fun.

Aww.. dun cry.
See ya

Obsessed

2007-11-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am obsessed with The Hills, the internet and trying to find pictures to upload.
And so, I am going to take a break every two days from blogging and logging on to the internet and do fruitful stuff like organizing what I want to do and upload my wadrobe instead.

Apart from that, my mind is not really in the right state to help out with my mum's shop because I still want to party. But, I guess, I need the cash right now anyway. Being jobless is so much fun but you got to cut on the expenditure anyway, especially ciggarettes. Useless pieces of sticks with leaves. Why am I smoking? I have no idea.

Anyway, I got a presentation tomorrow and I am still awake, see what I told you about my obsession with the net?

Tomorrow, Imma try my best from surfing the net for my own leisure and watch a movie instead. That is, IF i am not cramming for PM project. I wanna go to school but instead, I have a 3 weeks break. Really, NYP, I don't need it.

Bleagh

2007-11-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking I wanna quit smoking

Sigh. Throat hurts.Again.

Overdue

2007-11-09T00:45:00.000-08:00

It is a bit late for these pictures but I just got them so imma just post and not talk so much.

Geylang with the TOTS

I love these people.

For those who are not familiar with the tots and keep asking me about the tots,

Left to Right: Bitot, Nytot, Rotot, Fitot, Shatot and Jootot

Sha and Faizal

This is the 'hak' game we love to play whenever we have nothing to do.

My brother and Farouq

Stocking up for the party.

Riiiiight.

Booze and?.... that's right... sex.LOL. Hani muka macam paham.

Before and After Breast Augmentation. Hahahahahaha.

Slacking under the block chatting.

K, peeps, gonna run off to a drinking & gambling session @ my sister's place. In true Indian style. I hate gambling but... i love beer.*winks.

Stay tuned for pics, bitches.

Bumpy Lumpy Lump

2007-11-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

This is just great.

This past week have been hell and back. I was dragged into class politics which, despite myself, I have to say drained both my eardrums and my energy. I finally got my ass up to ask Kenneth what he actually means by the e-mail he mass sent to the whole class and I guess I got his point and I am cool. Funny, how in the past when things like this used to happen, I did not give two hoots especially if all the bitching was about me. I guess part of me was astounded that this could happen to people aged like us. And part of me wonders, whether I should filter out what to say and how to act to people because now, I am walking around thinking they are all monsters, filled with teenage angst that I must be careful about provoking. Like from first year, it is always about how to play the game and truth be told, I am sick and tired of the game. I do not hate anyone, something I pride myself in, passing judgements that stick is not my cup of tea. I guess, no matter what, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, that maybe, just maybe, they have some circumstances that push them to do certain stuff. Note that I am using them. Not you, not she, not he. THEM. Because there is no vast difference and I guess it's all the same.

Oh well.

I tell you, these past few days, I have been moving so fast, things have been moving so fast that I haven't had my comfort zone for awhile. Plus, it doesn't help that I am using that excuse to not move whenever I have extra time. Which translates into all those briyanis and pratas and shit being translated into fats that are not burning. I am a chubby girl now, happy but chubby. Ok, chubby and lazy. If I don't watch it, Imma be rolling around and you guys can use me as Santa Claus... or...hmm.. the turkey.OH GOD, more eating during Christmas?

No, Zulaikha, you cannot use every single occasion to EAT. Tsk. No no, Imma feel good during Christmas and Imma enjoy going to Sentosa one month later. With a bikini, hm... maybe I should buy a new bikini to motivate me.

Oh well.

I am currently saving up for my brother's Pedro shoes.

But this little bitch's expensive balls, even I don't buy stuff like these for myself.I am a cheapo. Tsk. But oh well,my bro's worth it.

Instead of going visiting tomorrow like normal people and getting 'hong-baos', my mum's dragging me to the shop and I have to wake up like at 3am because there's a lot of food orders she took and so, I am hoping to get paid so that I can get some help with the birthday present and I wanna get some stuff, dammit.

Wishlist:

Navy green & black shorts
Coloured pumps
Coloured flip-flops
Guess wallet
Black&white top
Brown&purple dress

K that's it for now.

It's 1am and I got to wake up in two hours so let's go get some shut eye. Talk about filial piety.

Musings

2007-11-07T05:31:00.000-08:00

Don't you guys think it has been awhile since I have self-reflected in this blog? Why is it suddenly I feel afraid to voice out what I think or what I feel for fear of somebody viewing it as my weakness?

This past month, I feel myself getting less trusting of people around me, people's morals. It's like when I see things or hear things happening around me, I lose hope on people, generally. What I fail to realise is, I am built just like everyone else. In an attempt to not be similar in any way to them, I try my very best to be honest, to be an open book, to answer everything simply and explain clearly just so they won't misunderstand. Be it to whoever, acquaintances, family, friends. But honesty is just not welcomed all the time and so I find myself being... diplomatic. Trying to hold on to this dog-eat-dog world and not be jaded.

However, with this lesson learnt, I also found people I am willing to invest my time in. Like my sister, my godmum,etc. And when I actually spend my time with people who loves me with no boundaries and are not ashamed to tell me and want to talk to me, I feel this irony in the air. It's like, how can I be so distrustful to people and yet trust and love them fiercely?

I really do not know what I am getting at. Honestly.
Just writing my random thoughts here. Which was what this blog was intended to be for.

Peace

2007-11-06T09:36:00.000-08:00

I know I am late in posting all these but I just got them from Fi who got it from Hani. Faham2 k, Hani is a bit slow. These are Raya pics. I really just love how we could be someone else outside but once the tots and the Enam Jahanams(they were called that last time) come together, we rewind back of times of Mr Heng and physics, of Abid's song called,'Oh Bapak Gatal'. Hmm.. i wish we could always escape to those times again. Till then, I could just give you readers the gist of how retarded we can be with pictures. Enjoy!

RAYA, PEOPLE!

Here, we were waiting for Hadi to wash up after camp so we went crazy. Akmal effing irritating when taking pictures. I really dun understand how someone that handsome can be really irritating, like ala... u must know him to understand. Tsk.

Nys finished the cookies! Greedy monkey!

The 50's act. We have the Mat Guitar, Minah Drummer, the showgirls and Bib's the ermm... tipper. Nak kasi 20 cents, i think.

Stevie Wonder Malay Style

Fi step 'the fella in Singapore Idol' You know the greasy looking one with the hair covering the eyes la!

At the traffic light:

Us in the car: "Akmal, take picture!"

Akmal willing does it which explains the pic above.

Then the light switches to Amber

Fi: "EH AKMAL, OUR TURN"

Akmal starts fumbling, dapat jugak! Thank god the camera did not end up on the road.

A little adrenalin there.

Siamese Twins. Pity them please?

That's a lot of pictures.

I have things to do now.

1) The pile of laundry I have been avoiding for the past week

2) Decide on what to wear tomorrow

3) Do my finances

4) Meditate

I have been surrounded by people nowadays and I am in those weird moods whereby I wanna be cooped up at home not having anything to do but read a book or self reflecting and shit like that. But with Deepavali around the corner, I do not think that it going to happen soon. Oh well.

About Regan and me, I am glad we talked things out and I emerged from the fight a little bit more sure about us. Thanks, my dear.

K peeps, gotta go now. Meeting my sis to go buy my brother his birthday present.

I love where I am in my life right now and I do not wish for anything to change. Ok except for my weight and my monetary status la. But oh well, you can never be too skinny or too rich, so let's eat and spend right?;p

Why are you changing?

2007-11-04T05:17:00.000-08:00

So... Friday was the last day of school and we had a skit where we had to exhibit a role play about good service. It went perfect except for the setting but oh well, the teacher enjoyed herself so i think that was good. We had only 3 members in the group so we had to make an imaginary one which is actually a broom with a face pasted on it which explains this picture.

After which I eloped across the causeway down to Jb for a girl's day and night out. Who would have thought JB's nightlife is wayyy better than the 'Cannery'?? At this point my phone's batt was flat beyond hope so... not much photos. This was all I had.

Me and CT

CT and my elder sister, Nazeem

The two syaitan 'kuttis'-'Little devils'

Cabana's and Modestos was great. The bartender puts two pax in all our drinks and it wasn't long before my sister started getting real high. LOL, ironic, I took care of her. Why do I always take care of people? Dun get it.

Something inside me is not happy. I want to blog happily, I want to talk a lot but really, there's something troubling me. Like, a lot.

ARGH!

2007-11-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

Class politics are bad. Momma told me to stay away from them.

Let's just hope nobody steps on my toes, then things will remain fine and I'll continue joking. I not, I can always take out my boxing gloves.

Secondly, why is Regan snapping at me? I don't understand it. Am i a little girl with ponytails tied in fucking PINK ribbons? Do i look like I'll smile and nod my head just cause u snap?And when i tell you it bothers me like how a normal adult would tell it to another adult, you become totally ignorant? There comes a point where I know I give too much shit. And things like this would cause me to snap out of it.

All I know is, people come and go.
I do not give a flying fuck if you don't like me, if you don't like the auntie selling ice kachang. It is none of my business and I don't need to know.

If you STILL have a problem with me, I suggest you drop a coin, bend down to pick it up and kiss your own ass. Because it is just pathetic.

P.S: Do not bitch if you know you cannot say that to the other person's face. Cowardice.

Ok, done ranting. Picss gonna be up soon.
Bye

I am back

2007-11-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know you have to put up with me talking a lot, repeating the same thing over and over again. Or short cuts that just seem to exist for the sole purpose of irritating you.

I have finally installed the CD to transfer the photos(I am a procrastinator la, ok.), paid my bills so that my internet connection dun suck so much and made resolutions to keep posting, so here are some pics that I have. The rest are with Fi, oooh, I am going to have so much fun with that!

@ IJC REUNION

I love her.

Step Diva =p

Izyan, Jess and Fiz

Seeing all of them again brought me to a time where it seemed so surreal. Where I was a totally different person. I am glad that there was people like Ilah, Zira and Fiz to take that load of me at that time. Oh, and Shalini. LOL(she's staringggg)

Ladies' Night

This is all I have because they went to Zouk after that which dampened my whole mood and I went home, what can I say, I dun like Zouk.

Anyway, I have a presentation tomorrow and shall be off to Jb to pamper myself with some shopping, pedi and a whole lot of booze. So, keep viewing. Because I try my best to post, so you have to read, ok?

Ciao bella.

Stupid internet

2007-10-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

I swear I wanted to post many pictures but it seems like my Photobucket's fucking up on me and my eyes are shutting already.

So let me leave you with a pic and random thoughts.

I want to switch back to ZA, Olay is ok but not good enough.
I still have yet to do the laundry.
I never want to go to Zouk again.(grr to Jonei and YZ)
I need to stop procrastinating.
I need a time out to just chill out.

I miss my tots.

It's all in the mind

2007-10-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

You know I have no life when i blog three times in a day.

Ok, I am procrastinating studying for tomorrow's test but I really should start because there is really nothing else to do on the computer. I am not hooked on Facebook/Friendster like some people so that sucks. There are only certain blogs I go to and read almost daily.

No pictures to upload because fucking photobucket resized my pictures and I got to get it from Regan's comp for pics from last weekend. Fi's not yet given me Hari Raya photos and Geylang photos. So, I have nothing to edit/upload.

Which means, I have no choice, Imma go and study.

Loves Shmoves people. =)